Part 2 The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, the health-related
habits
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of people across the world have changed drastically. Some believe that the average standard of health of the people is likely to decline in the
future
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the reasons why I believe that
such
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a reduction might occur. There has been a rise in the consumption of processed
food
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over the past few years.
This
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has become particularly common among children and young adults, who are our world's
future
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. Another unfortunate reason is that
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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lifestyle is becoming increasingly common. Low physical activity,
coupled with
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excessive intake of junk
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food
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food,
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can ultimately lead to excessive weight gain and obesity.
Additionally
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, there is an increase in the workload of many employees today, keeping them in a constant loop of fatigue and poor sleep quality. Eventually,
this
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could impact their mental health, and they could suffer from anxiety and depression.
Consequently
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,
such
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unhealthy practices have many implications for the
future
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. Large populations could be diagnosed with medical conditions
such
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as diabetes and insulin resistance, increasing the risk of cardiac
arrests
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arrest
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, cancer, and lifestyle disorders
such
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as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Not following healthy
habits
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could
also
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have repercussions on the healthcare facilities, as an increase in the number of patients might lead to a shortage of resources to provide treatment and care.
This
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could
also
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imply that more financial aid might be required, which could be procured by increasing taxes. Low-income families are very likely to struggle in
such
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a situation. To summarise, unhealthy
habits
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such
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as over-dependence on junk
food
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and poor levels of physical movement are becoming increasingly common and could have major negative consequences in the
future
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. I would recommend people to start improving their lifestyle by engaging in
sustainable
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sustainable,
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healthy
habits
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such
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as eating nutritious
food
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and engaging in more physical activities
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such
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, such
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as yoga or basketball.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear early. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in one direct line.
task response
Add one real and clear example to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain a few ideas more fully instead of listing many health problems.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Your essay is easy to follow, but some ideas can connect more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body paragraph and develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word choice and grammar points, because these can make the flow less smooth.
task response
You answer the question and stay on the topic all through the essay.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to understand in most parts.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical, so the reader can follow your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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