Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that training is key to
health
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, but others think that having a healthy
diet
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is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
important aspect.
This
Linking Words
examine
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examination
will examine both perspectives,
although
Linking Words
I believe having a balanced
diet
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is the way more important than training. On one hand, some people claim that physical activity keeps them more fit and healthy. Doing morning exercise
such
Linking Words
as jogging or doing yoga
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
both mental and physical
health
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.
In
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addition
Add a comma
addition,
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going to the gym regularly helps develop muscles and burn fat and calories
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, many doctors recommends to walk 10,000 steps every day to
have a
Verb problem
maintain
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good
health
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because it will keep
body
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the body
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in
the temp
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shape
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and fit.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
because doing exercises is only 30% of being healthy. If people do physical activities but eat
unhelthy
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unhealthy
foods, it will lead to having
a obise
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obesity
or
health
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problems
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can be argued that
Correct article usage
a stable
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stable
Punctuation problem
stable,
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healthy
diet
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is key to have a good
health
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. Meals that contain horse meat, chicken or eggs have
protine
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protein
in
it
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them
show examples
which helps
bulid
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build
muscles.
Furthermore
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seefoods have a vitamines to improve human eyes
and
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, and
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soup with
seefoods
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seafood
helps
bonet
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bones
to
rise
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grow
show examples
faster. Eating all
this
Linking Words
food every day definitely improves human
health
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.
For example
Linking Words
, some researchers did a survey and
find
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found
show examples
out that eating
rise
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rice
show examples
with fish
instead
Linking Words
of
fast-food
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fast food
adds 10 more
year
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years
show examples
to human life. I agree with
this
Linking Words
view as it main aspect of being healthy
and
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, and
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people with
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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diet
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
low
health
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issues. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
doing a physical activity can help to be fit, I firmly believe
that
Fix capitalization
That
show examples
having a good
diet
Use synonyms
is more effective because it is 70% of key to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
healthy

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about exercise and diet, but some ideas are short or not clear.
task response
Give a clear opinion in the end and also keep it clear in the body paragraphs.
task response
Use examples that are more real and easy to believe. Some examples now sound weak or not true.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. Now some parts jump too fast.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion, so the task is covered.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body paragraphs, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words to guide the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
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