IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Part 1 You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing regarding some issues I have with the student I
am sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
 my dorm
room
Use synonyms
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
 I live in
room
Use synonyms
 number 1211 on the first floor of Block A, and I share the accommodation with another student, Mary Jose. My roommate has not been following some ground rules set by the campus, and it has been very difficult for me to focus on work. Over the past two weeks, she has been inviting guests overnight.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they usually play loud music between 10:30 PM and 5 AM. The shift timings of my remote part-time job are 8 PM to 2:30 AM. Mary's actions have been negatively impacting my productivity at work
as well as
Linking Words
 my sleep. I have confronted her multiple times, and I have handed her a copy of the ground rules set by the management as a reminder.
However
Linking Words
, she has been ignoring my concerns. I request
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
assign me to a different dorm
room
Use synonyms
. I would prefer a single-student dorm
room
Use synonyms
, and I am ready to pay a higher fee to move into
such
Linking Words
 a
room
Use synonyms
. I request
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
will
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
look into
this
Linking Words
 matter. I look forward
hearing
Change preposition
to hearing
show examples
 from you. Best regards, Krithi Santosh

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add a little more about why the room is hard for study.
task response
Task response: Use a more formal line at the end, for example: I would be grateful if you could look into this matter.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are clear and in a good order.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Check small grammar links, for example: I am sharing my dorm room with another student.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Write I look forward to hearing from you.
task response
Task response: You clearly describe the room situation, the problems, and the kind of room you want.
task response
Task response: The tone is mostly polite and right for a letter to an officer.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea, so the letter is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The opening and closing are suitable for a formal letter.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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