IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore some people think that the government should provide financial support. In their opinion, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, it is true that postgraduate
surveys
Use synonyms
limited
Verb problem
are limited
show examples
 in terms of financial support,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
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 believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should provide
with
Change preposition
a
show examples
 high amount of investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 scientific
research
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instead
Linking Words
 of funding less useful subjects. Personally, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because
science
Replace the word
scientific
research
Use synonyms
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides us
show examples
 with our basic necessary needs and
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
 to modern
technology
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, scientific
surveys
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 plays a important role in society.
This
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 means that
,
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apply
show examples
 scientific
researchs
Check wording
research
show examples
 makes
individuals life
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individuals' lives
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 much better with
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
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 range of
improvments
Correct your spelling
improvements
 in fields
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 healthcare, education and basic services.
For example
Linking Words
, if a person
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
show examples
 that they are
ill
Punctuation problem
ill,
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 they can go to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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then
Linking Words
 doctors
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 their
research
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 gives a clear, accurate analysis to
patient
Correct article usage
the patient
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 helps them to treat the
diseas
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disease
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 without making mistakes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, scientific
researchs
Check wording
research
show examples
 has a huge impact on learning
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 means that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 more educated with different types of scientific
surveys
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. Without science studies society would collapse into chaos. Another primary
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of scientific
surveys
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 is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it makes life more efficient with the developments of
technology
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.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, modern
technology
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surveys
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allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 individuals to
easy
Replace the word
easily
 access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
better
informations
Check wording
information
show examples
, events and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 communication between
people
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 much better.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
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now can
Correct word order
can now
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 communicate with
electron
Replace the word
electronic
 gadgets around the world
, the
Punctuation problem
;
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 distance
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
does not matter, all the things is
due to
Linking Words
 scientific
researchs
Check wording
research
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with scientific studies on modern
technology
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,
people
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 are able to work from home without going to
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
. In conclusion, it is crucial to government
should
Wrong verb form
to
show examples
 support scientific
research
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 with financial
fundings
Check wording
funding
show examples
 as they provide
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
essential services to society and for accessible
technology
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question more fully. You gave your view, but you did not explain why other subjects should not get money.
task response
Make your main idea clear in each body part, then add one or two clear reasons.
task response
Use a more real and exact example. Your hospital example is helpful, but it is still general.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a simpler order. Some lines are hard to follow because of long and unclear wording.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way. Words like 'to begin with', 'moreover', and 'as a result' are good, but some sentences still do not connect well.
coherence and cohesion
Check how pronouns and nouns link. Sometimes 'it', 'they', or 'this' are not fully clear.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the first part and keep the same view to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea: basic needs and technology.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • postgraduate research
  • financial support
  • scientific research
  • funding
  • advancements
  • technology
  • medicine
  • direct impact
  • society
  • public health
  • economy
  • humanities
  • social sciences
  • human behavior
  • culture
  • ethics
  • context
  • technological advances
  • balanced approach
  • allocation of funds
  • disciplines
  • knowledge progression
  • societal development
  • long-term benefit
  • education methods
  • mental health interventions
  • quality of life
  • interdisciplinary research
  • global challenges
  • collaboration
  • holistic solutions
  • climate change
  • public health crises
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