IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometres traveled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000.

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The bar chart illustrates how many
kilometres
Use synonyms
 British passengers travelled using various vehicles in 1990 and 2000 It is obvious that
buses
Use synonyms
 were the most preferred means of transport in the initial period,
whereas
Linking Words
 travelling by air and bicycle were the least popular.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
buses
Use synonyms
 and trains were the most common choices for commuters,
while
Linking Words
 bicycles and motorbikes were not used so much. In 1990 ,commuters took
buses
Use synonyms
 in order to cover
the
Correct article usage
a
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 distance
that was
Change preposition
of
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 around 48
billion
Use synonyms
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
, the total number of
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 for railway usage reached 40
billion
Use synonyms
 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 it was estimated at approximately 8
billion
Use synonyms
 for motorbikes.
However
Linking Words
, the total number of
kilometres
Use synonyms
 covered by planes and bicycles was significantly lower and represented approximately 5 to 6
billion
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kilometres
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2000 , the length of the distances covered by the travellers who
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
buses
Use synonyms
 and trains was almost identical and accounted for just under 50
billion
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kilometres
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for air travel stood at about 8
billion
Use synonyms
kilometres
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 the data for the bicycles and motorbikes were more
ornless
Correct your spelling
or less
 the same and showed less than
this
Linking Words
 amount .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometres, buses, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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