IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their education and works goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 has made
everything
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 easier for students and employees to achieve their
education
Replace the word
educational
 and
works
Check wording
work
show examples
 goals than before. In my view,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 completely agree with the given idea
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it has a number of main reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
internet
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 has significantly improved
access
Use synonyms
 to the younger generation, because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when they want to gain information, they ask the
internet
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 or some
ai
Fix capitalization
AI
show examples
 tools. Approximately, between 15 and 20 years ago, if students
search
Wrong verb form
searched
show examples
 for some information for their education, they had to look for encyclopedic books or go to libraries to gain information. But now it is too easy 1 click and achieve what you want.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
who
Check wording
people who
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 live in remote areas can attend online classes and don’t need to leave home.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
internet
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 allows
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation to communicate quickly with classmates or their teachers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
internet
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 has
charged
Verb problem
changed
show examples
 the way people
work
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 and develop their careers.
For example
Linking Words
: if you want to take an
economy
Replace the word
economics
 course and you have a hectic schedule to
go to
Verb problem
attend
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 courses,
then
Linking Words
 you can surf the
internet
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 and
access
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 online courses.
However
Linking Words
, many companies now offer remote jobs, which give an opptunity employees
to
Check wording
the opportunity to
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work
Use synonyms
 from home and manage their schedules. Companies can
also
Linking Words
 use online communication tools to seek
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
 individuals, and they can
coorparate
Correct your spelling
coordinate
 international meetings on the
internet
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. In conclusion, today the
internet
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 has a big role in human life
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 if 1 day we don’t
access
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 the
internet
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all
Punctuation problem
, all
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 our
work
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 goes wrong.
However
Linking Words
,
i complately
Correct your spelling
I completely
 agree
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 has made education and
work
Use synonyms
 so much easier than before.

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task response
Give a more direct answer to the question in each main part. Show clearly why you fully agree.
task response
Add one or two clear examples with more detail. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few parts are not fully clear. Use short and clear sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used, but sometimes they are not natural. Use simple links like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
task response
You answered the question and gave a clear opinion.
task response
You gave points about both study and work, so your essay covers the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, with an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow in most parts.
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