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Writing Samples
Band 7

Studying abroad is thought by many students to be the best way to get a good education. On the other hand, On the other hand, some students believe that studying in another country has many drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate regarding studying abroad for higher
education
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. A group of individuals believe that studying in another country is the best way to receive a quality
education
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.
However
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, others claim that overseas
education
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 has several disadvantages.
Therefore
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, ahead of my
opinion
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, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views will be discussed
further
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. Examining the former
opinion
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, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is that foreign universities provide better educational facilities and learning environments.
This
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 is because many international institutions offer modern technology, experienced teachers and advanced research opportunities for
students
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.
In addition
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, they
also
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 believe that studying abroad helps
students
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 become more independent and confident. The reason is that living away from family teaches
students
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 how to manage their responsibilities and solve problems by themselves.
Moreover
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,
students
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 can improve their communication skills by interacting with people from different cultures.
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter
opinion
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 have their own arguments.
To begin
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 with, they claim that studying abroad is very expensive for many families.
Students
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 need to spend a large amount of money on tuition fees, accommodation and transportation expenses.
Moreover
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, some
students
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 may experience homesickness and cultural differences
while
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 living in another country. Adjusting to a new lifestyle and language can create stress and negatively affect academic performance.
For instance
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, many international
students
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 face loneliness during the early stages of their studies abroad.
To conclude
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 and offer my position, there are convincing arguments both for and against studying abroad for
education
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.
However
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, I certainly favour the former
opinion
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 because
students
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 can receive better
education
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, develop important life skills and improve their future career opportunities.

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task response
Give one more clear example to support your main idea.
task response
Explain your opinion a bit more in the last part.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few points could be developed more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some linkers are repeated too much.
coherence and cohesion
Check small wording issues in the opening, like repeated words.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make each body paragraph flow with smoother links between ideas.
task response
You answered all parts of the question.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are grouped well in separate paragraphs.
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