It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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In today's contemporary world,
traveling
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travelling
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to the
furthest
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farthest
from
ccivilization
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civilisation
places like
South
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the South
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Pole
became
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has become
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possible
due to
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technological
improvement
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improvements
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. Upsides of
this
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possibility include possible scientific
break outs
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breakthroughs
;
however
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, there are downsides as well
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such
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, such
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as pollution of those areas. Both of them will be elaborated on in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, doing
researches
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research
in the remote locations of our planet could, potentially, give us information about previously unknown species. In 2025, as an example, studies about Antarctica were published.
While
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studying
such
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a remote place, scientists discovered a whole new species of bacteria which were living separately from the whole
civilization
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civilisation
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for a period of 70 million years, data from which can contribute to scientific development in several fields.
Moreover
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, when
traveling
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travelling
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around the world, people become fascinated by the natural beauties God created.
Thus
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, it might widen their horizon.
On the other hand
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, ecosystems in those places are very pure when compared to populated locations around the world.
Thus
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, by visiting them a
lot
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lot,
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we risk exposing them to harm and pollution from people. To exemplify, once, in
Yemen
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Yemen,
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there was a forest that seemed to be from another planet.
However
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, after people started visiting it a lot and,
thus
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, littering there, the uniqueness of
a
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the
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place got lost. In conclusion, there are both pros and cons of
such
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practice
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a practice
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.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about good points and bad points, but the ideas are still a bit short.
task response
Make your main ideas clearer. Some points, like tourists widening their horizon, need a more direct link to the topic.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and clear. Some examples are interesting, but they are not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some links work well, but a few sentences sound unnatural or hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with one clear explanation and one clear example.
task response
You answer both the advantages and disadvantages, so you address the full task.
task response
You give specific examples, which helps your essay feel more developed.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words like On the one hand, On the other hand, and In conclusion help guide the reader.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote natural environment
  • scientific research
  • climate change
  • environmental preservation
  • economic benefits
  • conservation efforts
  • habitat disruption
  • pollution
  • cultural disruption
  • indigenous populations
  • commercialization
  • safety risks
  • personal enrichment
  • ecosystems
  • awareness
  • appreciation for nature
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