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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below describes the sources of electricity produced in four countries between 2003 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given pie charts compare the proportions of energy generated from three resources across four countries from 2003 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, fossil fuels dominated energy production in
India
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 and
Vietnam
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,
while
Linking Words
 hydropower was the main source in
Morocco
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 and
Sweden
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, with nuclear power being the most significant in
Sweden
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. Looking more closely, fossil fuels accounted for the largest share of electricity production in
India
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 at 79%, far exceeding the figure for
Use synonyms
Sweden
Punctuation problem
Sweden,
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 where
this
Linking Words
 stood at 4%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, hydropower was the leading source in
Sweden
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, making up more than half (52%) of total output, which was roughly four times higher than the corresponding figure for
India
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 at 14%. A similar pattern can be observed in nuclear energy.
This
Linking Words
 sector contributed 44% in
Sweden
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,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
much
Correct article usage
a much
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 smaller proportion of 7% in
India
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. Turning to
Morocco
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 and
Vietnam
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, electricity generation relied almost entirely on hydropower, which comprised 95% in
Morocco
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Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 the trend for
Vietnam
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 was less than half (44%). Meanwhile, fossil fuels represented the primary share in
Vietnam
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 at 56% compared with a minimal 5% in
Morocco
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words india, vietnam, morocco, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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