IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work , shopping and education.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

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Its common believed that reducing the need for
people
Use synonyms
 to travel for work, shoping and education is the best way to decrease
traffic
Use synonyms
 in big cities . I partly agree with
this
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opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 because it can reduce the number of
cars
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 on the roads
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
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, we cannot
eleminate
Correct your spelling
eliminate
 these problem but reduced it with other solutions can
also
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 help to solve
this
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 problem.
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firstly
Fix capitalization
Firstly
show examples
, reducing the need for
people
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 can significantly decrease
traffic
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congastion
Correct your spelling
congestion
 in cities.
Use synonyms
people
Fix capitalization
People
show examples
 can work from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
these
Correct pronoun usage
, which
show examples
 may reduce
traffic
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 on the roads during rush hours
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as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as
for the
Verb problem
allow
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 students
can
Wrong verb form
to
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 study online
than
Correct word choice
rather than
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study
Verb problem
apply
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Punctuation problem
,
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and that
Correct word choice
which
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 may reduce the number of
cars
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 on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
.
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for
Fix capitalization
For
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 example, many employees nowadays work
remotly
Correct your spelling
remotely
, which means fewer
cars
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 are used during rush hours.
moreover
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, we
cant eleminate
Correct your spelling
can't eliminate
 these issue but there are
some
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
several solutions
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 help reduce
traffic
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 congestion in cities.
Use synonyms
people
Fix capitalization
People
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 can use public
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
for their own
need
Check wording
needs
show examples
.
for inestence
Correct your spelling
For instance
,
goverments
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governments
 can
imrove
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improve
 public transportion
such
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 as buses and metro stations
these may reduce
Correct word order
, which may reduce the number of
show examples
people
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 who use their private
cars
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.
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to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 sum up, I partly agree that reducing
Use synonyms
traffic
Check wording
apply
show examples
the need for
travlling
Correct your spelling
travelling
 can help decrease
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion
how ever
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that improving public
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 and road systems is
also
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 important.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say in the first part that you partly agree, and keep this idea clear in all body parts.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why travel cannot be reduced fully. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Use more specific support for your ideas. Your example about working from home is good, but add one more real and clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part have one main idea only. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion. Be careful with punctuation after linking words.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your meaning is easier to understand. Some lines are hard to follow now.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion: you partly agree.
task response
You include examples such as work from home and public transport.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like firstly, moreover, for example, and to sum up.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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