IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sports, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinio

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Introduction
There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 two important things in human
main
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
physical
Punctuation problem
: physical
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 and mental
health
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that physical
strength
Use synonyms
 is more important for success in sport ,
while
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 think that mental
strength
Use synonyms
 is more important.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views with
detials
Correct your spelling
details
.
Body · 1
On one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that physical
strength
Use synonyms
 is significant for success in
sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
. In other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
, we should improve the physical
stength
Correct your spelling
strength
 to build
health
Use synonyms
 body.
In addition
Linking Words
, the football players work harder
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 to
have
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
 fitness.
For example
Linking Words
, Messe work on
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fitness to
ran
Wrong verb form
run
show examples
 fast in the match.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, The adlut make
sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
 to support their
health
Use synonyms
, just like heart disease and
vires
Correct your spelling
viruses
. Even so, the
people
Use synonyms
 who have good physical
health
Use synonyms
available
Verb problem
are able
show examples
 to do more
exceices
Correct your spelling
exercises
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
raning
Correct your spelling
running
,jumping and dancing.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
same
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that mental
strength
Use synonyms
 is more important.
However
Linking Words
, if humans support their mental
health
Use synonyms
,
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will have strong memories.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 grow up
their
Punctuation problem
, their
show examples
 memories
willn't
Wrong verb form
won't
show examples
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
 to
lost
Verb problem
be lost
show examples
. Another point,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental
health
Use synonyms
 have effected on the human lifestyle.
For example
Linking Words
, the person who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 problems with their mental
health
Use synonyms
,they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can't do their basic routain eat or sleep.
Also
Linking Words
, the mental can
distroed
Wrong verb form
distort
show examples
 the
relections ships
Check wording
reflections
show examples
, like forget appeiments to
businsse
Correct your spelling
business
 meetings.
Conclusion
In my opinion,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans should foces in twosides mental
Use synonyms
strength
Check wording
apply
show examples
and physical
strength
Use synonyms
 to have
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
 and good
main
Correct word choice
mental and physical
show examples
health
Use synonyms
. Find the things
make
Correct pronoun usage
that make
show examples
 you happy to support mental
strength
Use synonyms
 and work hard to have
physica
Correct your spelling
physical
strength
Use synonyms
just
Punctuation problem
, just
show examples
 like
making
Verb problem
participating in
show examples
 sports.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why body strength helps in sport and why mind strength helps in sport.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way. Say which one is more important for success in sport.
task response
Use examples about sport only. Some examples about memory, sleep, and meetings are not close to sport success.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea for each paragraph. Then add 1 or 2 supporting ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, and in my opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some ideas change too fast.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like on one hand, on the other hand, and for example.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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