Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with colleagues during evenings and weekends, others think it's important to keep working life sperate from social life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Introduction
It is true nowadays that people discuss wether socializing with
colleagues
Use synonyms
outside the workplace is a good thing or not.
However
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, hanging out with
colleagues
Use synonyms
has some important benefits,
such
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as enjoying coworkers’ company.
Nevertheless
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, there are
also
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the negative aspects, like having a disagreement, to be taken into consideration before deciding which view outweighs the other.
Body · 1
On the one hand, there are many advantages to socialising with
colleagues
Use synonyms
, the most important of which is that you might enjoy their company. The reason for
this
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is that they might share the same interests as yours, which could lead to dramatic development in your relationship.
Therefore
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, you will likely start to love your job as long as you see that friend in daily basis.
This
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is clearly a significant benefit that not everyone can have.
Body · 2
Despite
this
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big benefit,
on the other hand
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, the greatest disadvantage is that sometimes relationships outside the work frame turn into a romantic relationship.
This
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is because your friend at work could be from the opposite sex,
along with
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the fact that any relationship can reach a disagreement at some point, which could lead to serious ramifications, whereby
this
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employee has to deal with that worker, even though no one wants to.
Conclusion
In conclusion, personally, I believe that the upsides of spending evening time with
colleagues
Use synonyms
are definitely greater than the downsides, because I think developing the skill of socialising with others is critical,
whereas
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the fear of exploring is not.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about good and bad points, but each side needs a bit more detail.
task response
Give a clearer own view. Your opinion is there, but explain it more in the body, not only at the end.
task response
Use more clear support for each main idea. Add one simple real example for each side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. But some ideas in body 2 are too long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use shorter sentences. This will help your meaning stay clear.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more carefully. Some words like 'whereby' and 'as long as' do not fit well here.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion, so you answer the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, so the structure is easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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