IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned in the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
Some countries have
vechicle-free
Correct your spelling
vehicle-free
 days, when
privite
Correct your spelling
private
cars
Use synonyms
,
trucks
Use synonyms
,
motor-bikes
Correct word choice
and motorbikes
show examples
 are banned in the downtown. Only public transportation
such
Linking Words
 as buses, taxis and metros
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 permitted. For me,
this
Linking Words
 can have
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 advantage for some
people
Use synonyms
 to make them more mobile, if there are any damages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their private
cars
Use synonyms
 one
day
Use synonyms
. But the disadvantages become more
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 when some private workers and businesses depend completely on their
trucks
Use synonyms
 to transfer significant products,
such
Linking Words
 as medical
equipments
Check wording
equipment
show examples
. So
this
Linking Words
 can have negative
consequnces
Correct your spelling
consequences
 on a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end than
his
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 advantages.
Body · 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 can be immobile without their
cars
Use synonyms
, or if they have any
damages
Check wording
damage
show examples
. So those
people
Use synonyms
 may not attend
meeting
Check wording
meetings
show examples
 or go to their universities, because of
this
Linking Words
 damage. But, during
Use synonyms
cars-free
Check wording
car-free
show examples
 days, they can learn how to be more
flexiable
Correct your spelling
flexible
 without their
cars
Use synonyms
, when they have them in their yards. But they cannot be able to drive them, so they have only one solution
to
Punctuation problem
: to
show examples
 go by bus. And
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 period is more than one
day
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, those
people
Use synonyms
 may not have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 except
go
Verb problem
to go
show examples
 by public
transportition
Correct your spelling
transportation
,
for example
Linking Words
. So, they can learn to be independent without their
cars
Use synonyms
. Unconsciously, they can
relise
Correct your spelling
realise
 the
differeance
Correct your spelling
difference
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 period, how they become more able to go anywhere.
Body · 2
Meanwhile, some
people
Use synonyms
 utterly depend on their private
cars
Use synonyms
 for
working
Replace the word
work
. Especially,
trucks
Use synonyms
 that can carry a
lot
Use synonyms
 of products, when they transfer these products
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 hospitals or grocceries
also
Linking Words
 other factories.
For example
Linking Words
,
trucks
Use synonyms
 that carry medical
equipments
Check wording
equipment
show examples
 for hospitals
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as blood or
surgries
Correct your spelling
surgical
 tools. When
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 accident or a surgury happen
this
Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they need
for
Change preposition
the
show examples
 tools that come by these
trucks
Use synonyms
. So a
lot
Use synonyms
 of problems can happen for
people
Use synonyms
 and factories, because of
this
Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 try to earn from their private
cars
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they work on UBER company. So those
people
Use synonyms
 cannot be able to move during those days. So, some of them can be affected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
Linking Words
. When they have children, pills, or daily
needs
Punctuation problem
needs,
show examples
 they must pay for all of them daily.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I think
this
Linking Words
 can have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good advantages for
people
Use synonyms
 to make them independent
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 themselves without their
cars
Use synonyms
. But,
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 disadvantages can be higher, when a
lot
Use synonyms
 of factories and
people
Use synonyms
 depend completely on the transferring
equipments
Check wording
equipment
show examples
 by their
trucks
Use synonyms
. Other
people
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
also
Linking Words
 rely on their private
cars
Use synonyms
. So, those
people
Use synonyms
 can be harmed and
also
Linking Words
 others with them.
Surly
Use the right word
Surely
show examples
, it has more
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 than
his
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 merits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say early that the bad points are stronger than the good points.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body part on one main idea only. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task response
Explain your examples more. Show clearly how one result leads to another result.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words in a simple way, like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about cars and trucks many times. Add one or two strong points only.
task response
Make sure every point answers the question about advantages and disadvantages, not only general problems.
task response
You give a clear opinion that the disadvantages are bigger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples about hospitals, factories, and drivers.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: