IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is better for individuals to learn new skills through online courses, while others think traditional classroom learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
These days, many people think that new skills should be learned through online courses,
whereas
Linking Words
 others argue that
in person
Correct your spelling
in-person
 learning is
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
 way to learn new things.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and explain why I believe that online learning is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 effective way to learn
importnat
Correct your spelling
important
 skills, as it saves time and provides flexibility.
Conclusion
To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words
in class
Correct your spelling
in-class
 learning has some advantages, including better concentration, less distraction and group discussions, I believe that online learning is more
importnat
Correct your spelling
important
 for
leaning
Use the right word
learning
show examples
 new skills, as it provides better convenience, saves both time and money.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Write more than two short parts. Add one body part for each side.
task response
Discuss both sides in full. Now you only list points, but you do not explain them.
task response
Give one clear reason and one simple example for each main point.
task response
Your opinion is clear, and that is good. But explain why it is best in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear order: intro, body 1, body 2, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make each part about one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, like time and ease. Try to add new points instead.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
task response
You mention both online learning and class learning.
coherence and cohesion
You have an intro and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing is easy to follow at a basic level.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: