IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Robots and artificial intelligence re being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

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Introduction
In the modern scenario, many employers are hiring Robots instad individuals. Advanced technology is widely
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 at jobs over human
intelligence
Use synonyms
. In my point of view, it has adverse effects on human life.
Body · 1
The chief impact is unemployment
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 people are losing their jobs
due to
Linking Words
 developing Artifical
intelligence
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, robots are being used in
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of restaurants for customer service
i.e
Punctuation problem
, i.e.,
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 they take orders and serve food. As advanced technology is being used
alomost
Correct your spelling
almost
 at every workplace, it is getting very challenging for people to get another job.
As a result
Linking Words
 of not recruiting anywhere, it is not surprising that people will face homelessness and poverty issues.
Body · 2
Another effect of using technology at work is that human
intelligence
Use synonyms
 is decreasing. Employees are getting more reliant on
Artificially
Replace the word
Artificial Intelligence
intelligence
Use synonyms
. They are not creating their own ideas and thoughts. They simply search
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 advanced applications whenever they need.
Conclusion
In conclusion, human jobs are getting
insecured
Replace the word
insecure
due to
Linking Words
 artificial
intelligence
Use synonyms
. It is
such
Linking Words
 a challenging issue to individual to get a job.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully: say why this change is happening, and also explain clearly why you think it is negative.
task response
Add one more clear reason for why robots and AI are growing at work, such as speed, lower cost, or fewer mistakes.
task response
Support each main idea with a short but clear example that directly fits the topic.
coherence cohesion
Write a clearer topic sentence at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your main point easily.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully, such as first, also, as a result, and in conclusion, but do not repeat the same pattern too much.
coherence cohesion
Develop each paragraph more. After giving one idea, explain it step by step before moving to the next point.
task response
You give a clear opinion that the impact is negative.
task response
You include an example about robots in restaurants, which helps support your point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a basic introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Robotics
  • Technological Advancements
  • Cost Efficiency
  • Productivity
  • Skill Shortages
  • Safety and Precision
  • Competitive
  • Innovation
  • Sophisticated
  • Workforce Displacement
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Hazardous Work Environments
  • Initial Setup
  • Ongoing Expenses
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