IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

many cultures are becoming similar than they used to be. what are the reaons? it is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
In recent years, the differences between
cultures
Use synonyms
 have increasingly started to fade away.
This
Linking Words
 happening is linked to two main factors, and I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 increasing similarity is highly negative for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Body · 1
One major reason why different
cultures
Use synonyms
 seem similar is
due to
Linking Words
 globalisation. The access to technology and
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
 in connectivity have increased awareness across the world. Because of
this
Linking Words
, individuals take
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in learning different
cultures
Use synonyms
 and implement them in their lives.
This
Linking Words
 practice
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 mixed all
cultures
Use synonyms
, which demonstrates wide similarity in numerous
cultures
Use synonyms
 and customs.
Body · 2
Mass migration is
also
Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another factor of increasing similarity among various
cultures
Use synonyms
. It becomes necessary for migrated individuals to learn another language and change their lifestyle
according to
Linking Words
 their surroundings. When they are exposed to foreign culture and
also
Linking Words
 share their own customs
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 foreign people, it eventually
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
 to
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
cultures
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 develops a common
society
Use synonyms
 where different generations can not see a new perspective
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 life.
Body · 3
In my view, if
cultures
Use synonyms
 become very identical,
this
Linking Words
 will lower the importance of being
uniqueness
Replace the word
unique
 by different countries. The more unique a nation
, the
Verb problem
is, the
show examples
 more recognised it will be, promoting a huge diversity to explore.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is very important to remain different in the world so that nations can be recognised differently based on their unique culture.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 sharing
cultures
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 become effortless, it will
also
Linking Words
 generate some potential drawbacks for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. Showing diverse community and culture leads to
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 vibrant and distinctive
society
Use synonyms
. It is essential to preserve cultural uniqueness
instead
Linking Words
 of
being identical
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 world.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and your view, but some ideas are short.
task response
Use one clear example to support each main idea. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain why this change is negative with one or two direct results for people or countries.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking is good, but a few sentences are not smooth. Check grammar in long sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main point, then add support after it.
task response
You answer the question and give two reasons and your opinion.
task response
Your main position is clear: you think this is a negative change.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Ideas move in a clear order from reasons to opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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