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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people prefer physical activities in their free times while other chose mental activities. Discuss both views

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Introduction
Many individuals like to spend their leisure time
in exercise
Replace the word
exercising
 for their physical fitness.
However
Linking Words
, some are preferred relaxing
activities
Use synonyms
 like word search, luddo and chess
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both of the views.
Body · 1
To stay physically active and fit, regular exercise is very important. Physical
activities
Use synonyms
 like gym, yoga and cardio exercise keep your mind and health strong. Physical
activities
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
stress
Correct article usage
a stress
show examples
 buster, they overcome the anxiety and depression from daily life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the person is not active, they can easily get
the life time
Correct word choice
life-threatening
show examples
 diseases like diabetes, obesity and other fatal diseases.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, mental
activities
Use synonyms
ehnance
Correct your spelling
enhance
 your cognitive and
problem solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
 skills.
Such
Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
 improve your way of thinking
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 innovative ideas came in your mind. Some people can't do the physical exercises
due to
Linking Words
 their health conditions
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it is
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 option for them to engage in relaxing skills.
Conclusion
In conclusion, daily exercises and relaxing games
both are
Correct word order
are both
show examples
 important for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle.
Today.'s
Punctuation problem
Today's
show examples
 human life is very hectic
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it is necessary for them to engage in either physical
activities
Use synonyms
 or medication and relaxing
activities
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say why people like body activity and why others like mind games.
task response
Add one clear example for each side, like walking, football, chess, or puzzles.
task response
Make your ideas more clear. Some lines are too general and need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic lines for each body part and keep one main idea in one part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and sentence order, because some errors make the meaning hard to follow.
task response
You answered both views, so you stayed on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You used basic linking words like moreover, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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