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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Life in the 21st century is better compared to life in the previous century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The world has changed a great deal from the past.
However
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,
life
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 in the 21st century is better compared to
life
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 in the previous century.
This
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 essay will explain to what extent I agree and disagree.
Body · 1
Nowadays, I agree that modern
life
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 is better because of technology, transportation,
healthcare
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 and education.
Although
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,
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apply
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people
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 feelling easier lifestyle with these innovations and developments.
In addition
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, in the past ,
life
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 did not have easy and comfortable
healthcare
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 and transportation.
As a result
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, the
healthcare
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 is not of high quality , and the transportation is very difficult and has no more choices like these days.
For example
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, in the past ,
people
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 travelled by horse or ship. Nowadays,
people
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 have many choices like planes, ships, cars and trains to use for travel.
Furthermore
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,
healthcare
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 is a very developed and large industry.
In addition
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, you will see many hospitals and medical facilities in the same area.
Body · 2
On the other hand
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, I disagree with
this
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life
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 because of costing
life
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, higher populations and traffic problems.
Also
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, there are many
people
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 living in the same areas , and
this
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 will become a crowded and noisy
life
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.
Also
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, in the past the was very simple and easy to communicate with
people
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I partly agree with these
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life
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issues
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 in the 21st century because of technology,
healthcare
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 and education.
Moreover
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, I disagree because it is costing lives and making
life
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 more stressful
life
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task response
Make your main answer more clear. Say early if you mostly agree, mostly disagree, or partly agree.
task response
Add one or two more clear examples to support each main idea.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are short and not fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Too many short linkers can make the flow weak.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so ideas connect in a smooth way.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea only.
task response
You answered the topic and gave both sides of the argument.
task response
You included an example about travel in the past and now.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow in a general way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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