It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other coutries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience

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Introduction
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
can
travel
Use synonyms
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
and
affordable
Rephrase
affordably
show examples
, especially from
country
Correct determiner usage
one country
show examples
to another. I think it is a positive development, because with
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
improvement
Punctuation problem
improvement,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
can find different ways to
travel
Use synonyms
freely.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
with
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
they can gain
experiences
Check wording
experience
show examples
.
Body · 1
Firstly
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,
internet
Use synonyms
improvement can help a lot of
people
Use synonyms
to find more than
way
Correct determiner usage
one way
show examples
for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
cheaply.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
can have a good experience from
this
Linking Words
travel
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.
Such
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as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
educational institutions
which make
Verb problem
that offer
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exchange
programs
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for students
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
different
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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. When
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
these
programs
Use synonyms
can afford for the student his home, food and his plane, free of charge. Sometimes, Schools do these
programs
Use synonyms
to make their students know about
another
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
educational systems and
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
embassies
Check wording
embassies'
show examples
social pages sometimes announce
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
international
programs
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for all work fields
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as doctors or teachers.
This
Linking Words
gives them
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
opportunity to
travel
Use synonyms
freely to discover more about their majors, and those workers can
meet
Rephrase
also meet
show examples
experts from the same fields
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
.
All
Change preposition
In all these
show examples
this
Linking Words
ways
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
can
travel
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through it without any charge. But
also
Linking Words
they have
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
opportunity to have more information about their fields and other cultures.
Body · 2
Secondly
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, some
people
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sometimes search for
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
on the local groups on the
internet
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. When
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
those
people
Use synonyms
need to transport
equipments
Check wording
equipment
show examples
to
another
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
countries,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they ask to pay
plane
Change preposition
for plane
show examples
ticket
Check wording
tickets
show examples
for
people
Use synonyms
to take these equipments with them.
This
Linking Words
can afford a full journey for someone
is
Correct pronoun usage
who is
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unable to buy a ticket, but he
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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to
travel
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.
Thirdly
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,
charities
Check wording
charity
show examples
programs
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which
Verb problem
that allow
show examples
people
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can
Wrong verb form
to
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go to other countries to aid
unable
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
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physically in their daily tasks
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
charity
programs
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in their cities. Which,
this
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
do it sometimes. When
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
they can help other
people
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and
also
Linking Words
take a free journey.
Conclusion
However
Linking Words
, I think
this
Linking Words
a
Verb problem
is a
show examples
useful development, and
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
has the highest part in it. Which,
people
Use synonyms
can find out
programs
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by charities, embassies or local
groups
Check wording
groups'
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
pages. When they can
travel
Use synonyms
freely, and
also
Linking Words
gain experience.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to the question in the first part. Say why it is good in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
Keep your main idea the same in each body part. Some parts move from cheap travel to study, work, and charity too fast.
task response
Use fewer ideas, but explain each one more. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Link your sentences in a more natural way. Words like first, second, for example, and as a result can help.
task response
Some examples are good, but a few do not fully fit the main question about easy and low-cost travel. Choose more direct examples.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end part short and clear. Repeat your opinion and your two main reasons.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that this is a positive change.
task response
You use real examples about school programs, work programs, and charity travel.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape with an opening, body parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words like firstly, secondly, and however.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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