In today's world many people own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years,
smartphones
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have become a popular topic of discussion. Almost every person owns a smart device from around the world. There are many ways it is useful, but in
such
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cases, it may be harmful.
However
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, I believe that the benefits of having a smartphone outweigh its drawbacks.
This
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essay will elaborate on the topic with relevant examples.
To begin
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with, nowadays, there are many advantages to owning a physical device. One of the main positive points is that a smartphone provides multiple features, which are beneficial for humans.
This
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means that
people
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can easily become connected with their relatives and friends who are living abroad.
For example
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, using some social platforms,
such
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as WhatsApp and Facebook,
people
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can get in touch with them.
In addition
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,
people
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can pay their utility and other bills by using
smartphones
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.
As a result
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, they can save fuel to travel to multiple offices for paid-out
such
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bills.
Moreover
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,
smartphones
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are worthwhile in many other ways, like gaining knowledge and developing skills.
Therefore
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, having a smartphone is advantageous for human development.
Although
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there are some drawbacks to using
smartphones
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carelessly, they are relatively minor.
First,
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people
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are easily addicted to
smartphones
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. To clarify, sometimes individuals do not care about the time they have spent on mobile phones.
For instance
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, nowadays, many youngsters spend many hours on phones, and they scroll through irrelevant reels and posts.
As a result
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, the younger generation damages their productivity and time.
Nevertheless
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,
smartphones
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are remarkable for sharing many pieces of useful information, and
also
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people
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can keep in touch with current affairs.
Consequently
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, smart devices' benefits vary from their drawbacks. In conclusion, decent use of
smartphones
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is really useful for
people
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.
Although
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I believe in spending time wisely and using it for meaningful purposes,
smartphones
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are worthwhile for human development.

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task response
Make your main answer more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one more clear example for the bad side, not only phone addiction. This will make your answer more full.
task response
Explain your ideas a little more deeply. Some points are good, but a few are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part. This will make your writing easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, but a few feel too many or not natural.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence of each body paragraph clearly connect to your main view.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You include both good and bad sides of smartphones.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow in a clear order.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphone
  • talk
  • message
  • information
  • map
  • app
  • bank
  • safety
  • time
  • distraction
  • sleep
  • privacy
  • security
  • screen time
  • balance
  • limit
  • habit
  • learning
  • work
  • health
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