IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days, many people prefer ready –to-eat food outside of their home rather than home-made food. Do you think this have more advantages than disadvantages.

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Introduction
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 eating outside
food
Use synonyms
 has become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasingly common in many parts of the world.
While
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this
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 deployment offers several benefits, it
also
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 has certain drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides before presenting my opinion.
Body · 1
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 have
time
Use synonyms
 to cook in the morning and
then
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 go to work. To elaborate, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 working in big cities
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and pupils
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 don't get
time
Use synonyms
 to cook
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they prefer to eat
food
Use synonyms
 from fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants. By
this
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, it can save the
time
Use synonyms
 of the person
as well as
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 eat tasty foods without any problem.
For example
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, a person can get a rice bowl from Chipotle
under
Change preposition
in under
show examples
 two minutes and can fulfil their protein intake.
Secondly
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, different types of cuisine are getting
much
Rephrase
apply
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cheaper
into
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in
show examples
 the market
due to
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 the competition.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 now have
tendency
Correct article usage
a tendency
show examples
 to go out and try various dishes at much cheaper price and complete their calorie
take
Check wording
intake
show examples
.
Body · 2
On the other side, there are many disadvantages as well.
People
Use synonyms
 are having so many
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
such
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 as
food
Use synonyms
 poisoning and throat infection, leading to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in fatality rate.
Body · 3
To illustrate, as per the news report of
Times
Correct article usage
the Times
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 of India,
Body · 4
Around 50,000
die
Correct word order
people die
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people
Use synonyms
 because of
food
Use synonyms
posioning
Correct your spelling
poisoning
.
Body · 5
Moreover
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, you don't even know if the kitchen is hygienic or not.
Lastly
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, the outside
food
Use synonyms
 is never
nutrient
Replace the word
apply
as a home made
food
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.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 eating
food
Use synonyms
 outside as it
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 much cheaper and
easy
Replace the word
easier
 to get. I believe its disadvantages outweighs advantages because of the negative impact on the human body that
restaurants
Check wording
restaurant
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 brings.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say early if you think the good points are more or less than the bad points.
task response
Give fuller main ideas. Some points are too short, so the reader wants more detail.
task response
Use examples that sound clear and true. One example from news is not explained well.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each part. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear end.
task response
You discuss both good and bad sides of the topic.
task response
Your opinion is given in the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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