IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the Worlds are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Nowadays, car
ownerships
Check wording
ownership
show examples
 has increased dramatically in many countries.
As a result
Linking Words
,
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion has become a major problem in large
cities
Use synonyms
.I strobly believes too many private vehicles create
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Check wording
jams
show examples
 and pollution.The reason
of road blocks
Change preposition
for roadblocks
show examples
 and
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Check wording
jams
show examples
 is that every family has their own
transport
Use synonyms
. They prefer their own
cars
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of public
transports
Check wording
transport
show examples
 because they felt confortable.I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
this
Linking Words
 statement is largely true because roads are overcrowded in most major
cities
Use synonyms
.Big
cities
Use synonyms
 like Karachi, Lahore,
Islamabad
Correct word choice
and Islamabad
show examples
facing
Verb problem
are facing
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion daily.
However
Linking Words
government
Use synonyms
 should take some
actions
Check wording
action
show examples
.It should make
buses
Correct article usage
the buses
show examples
 and
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
 system strong.Encourage
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
 public
transport
Use synonyms
.Cheap
transport
Use synonyms
 encourages people to avoid
cars
Use synonyms
.They should increase parking fees.Expensive parking discourages car
uses
Check wording
use
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,they should
introduced
Wrong verb form
introduce
show examples
 higher fuel taxes because expensive petrol can encourage people to
use
Use synonyms
 public buses
instead
Linking Words
 of their
own's
Check wording
own
show examples
. In my
suggetions
Correct your spelling
suggestions
, cycling and walking should be
promoting
Wrong verb form
promoted
show examples
.If people
use
Use synonyms
 cycles
instead
Linking Words
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 and buses,
in
Change preposition
as a
show examples
 result pollution problem
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 solved.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should build cycle lanes and safer
footpath
Check wording
footpaths
show examples
.I strongly believe that without proper
government
Use synonyms
 action,
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion will become worse in the future.Increasing car ownership has caused serious
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems in many
cities
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should improve public
transport
Use synonyms
 and introduce strict policies to reduce the
use
Use synonyms
 of private
cars
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say clearly how true the statement is, and then give 2 or 3 clear government steps.
task response
Make each main idea bigger with a short reason or example. This will make your ideas more clear.
task response
Use examples in a more exact way. For example, explain how higher parking fees can change car use.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas into clear paragraphs: intro, why this is true, government actions, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple but correct way, like 'First', 'Also', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very short sentences one after another. Join some ideas so the essay feels smoother.
task response
You answer both parts of the question.
task response
You give some useful ideas, like better public transport, higher parking fees, and fuel taxes.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your opinion is clear from the start and stays the same.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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