Some people say libraries are important in society as a place to get information and use books. Others say as computers are advanced, libraries are a waste of money and resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Libraries
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have been an important knowledge resource for decades. Before computers became the new norm,
society
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relied on books to gain
information
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with
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for
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school work, university assignments, or even just to read stories. It is widely believed that physical
libraries
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are still an integral part of
society
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as they create community. Some might argue that
due to
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the invention
computers
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of computers
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and
its
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their
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intricate and
worldy
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worldly
data,
information
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is now available at our fingertips, making the existence of
libraries
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obsolete. Personally, I strongly believe in the latter opinion. 
Body
Modern
society
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has made
information
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access very convenient through computers. You can get your hands on any book in the world with just a few clicks. It is a
priviledge
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privilege
to be able to read a book that could be 100 years old and not physically in stock at
libraries
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. The progress in the world of
information
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databases
have
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has
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also
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given us the opportunity to gain access
an
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to an
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open pool of editable
information
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.
For example
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, without being a student at Oxford University, a student could have access to all their published papers and could
also
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connect to the writers of these published papers.
Although
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,
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apply
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libraries
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served the same purpose in a primitive way, with technology taking over, the function of a library has
day-by-day
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, day by day
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, become less valuable. It could
also
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be argued that
libraries
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not only provide
information
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, but
also
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provide a space for people where they
could
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can
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sit and work or study in silence. But, it is
also
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important to know that alternative workspaces like cafes
,
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and
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co-working spaces now exist for the same purpose.
Therefore
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, it is not extremely essential to have
libraries
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in physical form.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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libraries
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have served us as a
society
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for generations, it is imperative
we
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that we
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move forward as a
society
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. Technology has enhanced our lives in ways unimaginable
and
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, and
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we should repurpose the
fundings
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funding
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used for
libraries
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to support more computer-based spaces.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about computers, but the side for libraries needs more detail.
task response
Give your own view in a clear way from the start and keep it clear in the body.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each paragraph, then add a reason and one strong example.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are mostly easy to follow, but some link words are not used well. Keep them simple.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and try to do too much. Split them into shorter parts.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body paragraph a full paragraph for the other view, not only a short part inside one paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you support computers more than libraries.
task response
You give some real examples, like old books and Oxford papers.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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