IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the growth of online shopping may lead to
shutting
Replace the word
the closure
 of all the
stores
Use synonyms
 in many areas. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
This
Linking Words
 is because many individuals do not trust online products, and elderly
people
Use synonyms
 may still prefer physical
stores
Use synonyms
 over online shopping.
Body · 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many
people
Use synonyms
 are sceptical about buying from online shops. The prime reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that many websites do not deliver the exact product they show online, and they tend to differ in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 size and colour.
This
Linking Words
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
 many customers
to order
Change preposition
from ordering
show examples
 a product from online
stores
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it may be difficult to select a perfect size for some items, like dresses or shoes.
For example
Linking Words
, many customers prefer to go to physical shops to buy an
oufit
Correct your spelling
outfit
 because they can try
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
 out before deciding to buy
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
.
Body · 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, many elderly
people
Use synonyms
, who are not comfortable with technology, may still prefer the traditional methods of shopping. Older adults find it difficult and boring to use websites to order what they need.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, going to a shopping mall with their family may give them a wholesome shopping experience
along with
Linking Words
 spending some quality time with their loved ones.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can go for an outing to a nearby mall where they can do other activities, like going to a
foodcourt
Correct your spelling
food court
 or playing some indoor games
along with
Linking Words
 shopping from their favourite brand.
Conclusion
To sum it up,
although
Linking Words
 there is a surge in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping, it may not be able to completely replace all the
stores
Use synonyms
 in the cities, as many individuals may still choose to buy from shops and
stores
Use synonyms
 rather than trusting an online product.

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task response
Write your idea in a more exact way. Some lines are a bit unclear.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and more close to the main question.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors like there/their and prevent/prevents.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly so each point flows better to the next one.
task response
You give a clear answer from the start and keep the same view all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending.
task response
You use examples to support both main points.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and easy to follow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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