The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie graphs illustrate the proportions of online retail
sales
Use synonyms
in 4 sectors in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,the proportion of travel
sales
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in both periods accounted for a stable major percentage,
whereas
Linking Words
Film and music witnessed the fastest growth across 10 years. In terms of travel,the retail
sales
Use synonyms
represented the largest proportion,standing at 36% before continuously decreasing to 29% in the next 10 years,followed by clothes at 24%. Rewarding the percentage of online retail book purchases,it accounted for the smallest proportion at 19% in 2003 and gradually rose to 22% by 2013.Film and music
as well as
Linking Words
had an upward trend in the figure for shopping
sales
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,increased sharply to 12% in the following decade.
In contrast
Linking Words
,clothes experienced a substantial downward trend.Particularly,
this
Linking Words
figure plummeted to 8%,making
the
Correct pronoun usage
it the
show examples
lowest rate in online retail figures compared to other sectors over a
phase
Check wording
period
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of 10 years from 2003 to 2013.
Although
Linking Words
all fields of shopping
sales
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in New Zealand made up to significantly increases in general,the share of clothing recorded the lowest among the
rest of
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
three sectors over the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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