Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
A lot of people consider that
media
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coverage of
celebrities
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is affecting
children
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negatively. I completely agree with that statement, because the
unconcious
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unconscious
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mind of
children
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getting
Verb problem
is getting
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hampered by watching
lavish
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a lavish
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,
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apply
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and indecent
lifestyle
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.
Body · 1
To begin
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with,
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media
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the media
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often
cover
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covers
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and shows the lavish
lifestyle
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of
celebrities
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, which impacts badly on
childrens mind
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children's minds
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.
Children
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are like clay, they take the shape
,
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apply
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what
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that
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they get from their surrounding environment. They learn what they see, feel, or
taught
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are taught
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.
Therefore
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, a
childs
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child's
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behaviour or mentality depends on
soceity
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society
. So, when a child watch lavish
lifestyle
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of a celebrity. They
also
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want that kind of
lifestyle
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, but often get
dissapointed
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disappointed
because most of the parents can not afford it. That makes a negative thinking in their mind.
Moreover
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, young folks often get influenced by famous people
such
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as models, actors, or influencers.
Children
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want to copy their attire,
behavior
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behaviour
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, and mentality.
As a result
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, they often get an
indicent
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incident
life, and parents get worried about modesty. That leaves a negative view of that specific child
among
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in
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society.
Body · 2
However
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, as a coin
have
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has
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two sides,
media
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coverage
also
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illustrates good things about
celebrities
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. There are a lot of popular individuals
,
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apply
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who just lead a normal life
,
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apply
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and spread positivity. Their influence on young ones are valuable asset for society. A lot of
children
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get inspired by their good works
,
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apply
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and decent
lifestyle
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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their
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there
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are
few
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a few
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positive sides, it has huge drawbacks. So,
beacuse
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because
of its harmful sides, I strongly agree on that matter that
,
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apply
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media
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coverage of
celebrities
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having negative effect on
children
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.

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task response
Answer the question in a more clear way in each body part. Keep your main view strong from start to end.
task response
Add one or two clear and real examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they stop too soon.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a more smooth order. Some sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way. Some are helpful, but some parts still feel broken.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. This will help the essay feel more clear.
task response
You gave a clear opinion in the introduction and kept it to the end.
task response
You included both the bad side and the good side, so your answer feels balanced.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, body, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In conclusion' help the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Celebrity culture
  • Glamorization
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Self-esteem
  • Scandals
  • Role models
  • Moral development
  • Mental health
  • Influence
  • Exposure
  • Social media platforms
  • Charity work
  • Inappropriate behavior
  • Perfection image
  • Negative impact
  • Inspire children
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