IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

A country's future depend on its young people. Therefore, it is often argued that government should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Use synonyms
Youth
Correct article usage
The youth
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 is the pivotal part of a nation's future. There is always
debate
Correct article usage
a debate
show examples
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 states should do huge spending on
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
. I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
totally agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point of view.
Body · 1
There are many reasons behind supporting
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 scenario. The first and foremost reason is that
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
youth
Use synonyms
 generations are freshly educated from the universities. So, they have more knowledge about the new technologies
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they have innovative ideas. Almost every workplace
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
 new
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 who have innovative ideas and good interpersonal skills. Young
people
Use synonyms
 are more
reliable
Correct word choice
likely
show examples
 to stay longer at work
as compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to older
people
Use synonyms
.
The another
Correct determiner usage
Another
show examples
 supporting reason is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 aged
people
Use synonyms
 may have good experiences
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
show examples
, they may
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
creative thinking.
Body · 2
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the modern scenario
technology
Punctuation problem
, technology
show examples
 is very advanced.
Older
Correct article usage
The older
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 doesn't accept new technical challenges. So, only
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 can accept the innovations.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should provide more facilities to
youth
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as free education, scholarships, paid work at
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
 age
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
 these facilities, new
people
Use synonyms
 can get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher education and can stabilise their career in young age. States should provide more an entery level opportunities to young
aged
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there is no doubt about the fact that
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
youth
Use synonyms
 generations are the bright future of countries.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should deliver all of the required facilities to new generations to meet their ambitions.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Start each part with one clear point, then explain it.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some are good, but some sentences do not join smoothly.
task achievement
Give one or two real and clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to understand.
task achievement
Explain your ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they stop too fast.
task achievement
Answer the question in a more direct way all through the essay, not only in the introduction and end.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear: you agree with the idea.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has basic paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • invest
  • government
  • youth
  • education
  • skills
  • workforce
  • economic
  • growth
  • healthy
  • society
  • crime
  • community
  • programs
  • leadership
  • life choices
  • innovation
  • ideas
  • progress
  • compete
  • globally
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