IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information it is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and share your own opinion.

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Introduction
Many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is efficient to publish
Use synonyms
information
Correct determiner usage
as much information
show examples
 as possible
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in scientific
research
Use synonyms
, business and the academic world.
However
Linking Words
, others say that a large amount of
information
Use synonyms
 is too significant or too valuable for sharing freely.
Body · 1
On the one hand, most
people
Use synonyms
 advocate for open
information
Use synonyms
 sources, especially in the field which is based on academic or scientific
research
Use synonyms
. Because they prefer
reaching
Wrong verb form
to reach
show examples
information
Use synonyms
 clearly.
In addition
Linking Words
, they believe that
research
Use synonyms
-based
information
Use synonyms
 has the most accurate knowledge and
considered
Verb problem
is considered
show examples
 by professionals, pioneers and masters who
focused
Verb problem
have focused
show examples
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 topic.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, these individuals want to learn through
research
Use synonyms
 rather than
reaching to
Verb problem
relying on
show examples
 inaccurate
information
Use synonyms
.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
a part of
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that having all
information
Use synonyms
 is not good in terms of their security and importance.
According to
Linking Words
 their perspective, accessing all
information
Use synonyms
 may
occur
Verb problem
lead to
show examples
 misunderstanding
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of scientific knowledge
by
Change preposition
among the
show examples
 public.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because some academic
research
Use synonyms
 presents crucial assumptions and predictions in some situations, they believe that it can create not only misunderstandings but
also
Linking Words
 crises and concerns among
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, let's say an article
published
Verb problem
was published
show examples
 about a possible disaster
around
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 country and
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 focused on it. It is unavoidable that panic will occur among
people
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
Consequently
Linking Words
, I believe that some
research
Use synonyms
 should be
covered
Verb problem
conducted
show examples
 to avoid creating unnecessary panic moments and chaos.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Your view is clear, but the first side needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start each paragraph with one strong point.
task response
Give one real and clear example, not only a general or imagined one.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler way. Some sentences are hard to follow.
task response
Explain why open sharing helps science, business, and study. Now this part is too short.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and word choice so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
You try to support your point with an example about public panic.
coherence and cohesion
Words like On the one hand, On the other hand, and Consequently help show direction.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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