The number of children that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reason for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

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Introduction
The latest information of young
generations
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reveals that exploring by reading
book
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books
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has
been
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apply
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surged drastically.
This
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phenomenon occurs because of several causes
and
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, and
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this
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potentially leads to something unwanted. In
this
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notion, we will discuss more about the reason behind and how to solve
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this
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these
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issues.
Body · 1
In the first part, most countries
are
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apply
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understand that
young
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the young
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generations
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are considerably necessary for the future development of
country
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the country
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.
Hence
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, it is obviously essential to nurture
in
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them in
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better
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a better
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way by giving them what they need.
Nevertheless
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, their desires in reading book have been
disappear
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disappearing
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gradually because of
others
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other
funnier activities,
such
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as playing games and scrolling social
medias
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media
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. If
this
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issue keeps happening, not
surprisingly
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surprisingly,
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we might lose the chance of our
brigther
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brighter
future.
Body · 2
On the other hand
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, to reduce
this
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possibility, the collaboration between
government
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the government
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and society needs to be conducted.
For instance
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, they might establish the creative space with the library as one of the facilities.
While
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,
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apply
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our young
generations
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visit
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this
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these
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places just
for enjoying
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to enjoy
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the
circumstance
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circumstances
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or
taking
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take a
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sip of coffee, they will indirectly stop by
library
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the library
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just for sightseeing. By implementing
small
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a small
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habit, they will gradually enjoy the feeling
for
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of
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being in
library
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the library
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for a longer time and eventually try to read something in their leisure time.
This
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habit will
produces
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produce
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the desire to read, even just a light novel.
Conclusion
To conclude
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this
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phenomenon, collaboration between
governement
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government
and society
are
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is
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highly necessary.
While
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young
generations
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faced a lot of joy in the game or
the
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on
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social media,
this
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collaboration can still
solves
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solve
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this
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issue by giving them a space that
support
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supports
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the circumstance of enjoying the reading of books.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and ways, but some ideas are too short.
task response
Make your main ideas very clear. Some lines are hard to follow because of wrong word choice.
task response
Use one clear example for each main point. The library idea is good, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Keep your paragraph plan simple: intro, reasons, solutions, end. This will make your essay easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, so, also, and however. Some links now feel weak or strange.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects well to the next one. A few parts jump too fast from one idea to another.
task response
You answer both questions in the task, so your essay is on topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear start and end, which helps the reader follow your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has separate paragraphs for reasons and solutions, and this is a good basic plan.
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