Many people think that people cannot help everyone so they should be concerned about their community and country . Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Nemors
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Nemor's
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people
beileve
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believe
that people can not help everyone , so they must be concerned about their community. In my
oppinoin
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opinion
, it
depend
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depends
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on you , and who is the person you will help ,
in
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addition
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addition,
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are you can
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can you
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help him
or
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, or
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it wil pe prusser
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will it be pressure
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on you ?
Body · 1
To start with
fact
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a fact
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, wich it you do not
has
Wrong verb form
have
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the
abelity
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ability
to help all people , and that has a lot of
reson
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reasons
Body · 2
such
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as you do not know
every thing
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everything
,
therefore
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you can not solve all
problem
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problems
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,
second
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second,
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you are not
super hero
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a superhero
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, you
has
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have
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power
and
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, and
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when it finsh you
can nod
Rephrase
cannot
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do
any thing
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anything
and
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, and
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I think it will
finsh
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finish
after one problem . 
Body · 3
But what about
concerned
Verb problem
being concerned
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for your community ,
this
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slotion
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solution
has both
pons
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pros
and
cuns
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cons
,
such
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as it will damage your
relaitionsheps
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relationships
, on otherwhise it can help you to
focs
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focus
on
your self
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yourself
and use your energy for
your self
Punctuation problem
yourself. In addition
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,
in addition
Linking Words
it can help you to discover your hopy or it can make you
lonly
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lonely
.
Conclusion
In the
end
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end,
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it
depend
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depends
show examples
on your
carecter
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character
, and what you can do or how much energy you
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same idea all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas. This will make your answer stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are very short, so the reader cannot fully understand your meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: introduction, body 1, body 2, and conclusion. This will help your essay feel more organized.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea. Now some ideas are mixed together.
task response
You give your opinion in the introduction and again in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraphs, which is a good start for clear writing.
task response
You try to look at both sides of the topic, which shows thinking.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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