Some people think the money spent on developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is sometimes argued that
money
Use synonyms
should be spent on other fields rather than space exploration. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
statement.
While
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space research may lead to scientific progress, it should not come at expanse of human necessities and environmental protection.
Body · 1
One clear reason is that the majority of individuals are struggling with serious issues,
such
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as poverty, lack of medical, educational and sports facilities. Some still do not have enough access to nutritious food and proper medical treatments.
Instead
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of investing billions in cosmic exploration, governments can use these resources to improve these facilities.
For example
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, it costs a fortune to send a spaceship into moon for NASA,
whereas
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African people have no access to clean water. By investing in these urgent problems, states may save and improve the living standards of countless individuals.
Body · 2
Furthermore
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, allocating a huge amount of
money
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to prevent environmental problems is far better than cosmic research, because it takes a long time to make it happen and see some progress, compared to spending
money
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on cosmic discovery.
However
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, it might be too late to think about the environment
then
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. The demand for natural supplies is increasing year-by-year, taking the right approach in time through investing in renewable energy projects ,
together with
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protection, may prevent
this
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issue. Taking the example of the Aral Sea, many local people are suffering from water shortages. If governments allocate an enormous amount of
money
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to tackle these types of issues, it will improve the lives of local people remarkably.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
money
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spent on other urgent problems rather than space exploration is considered a far better approach.

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coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea in each body part more clear at the start.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts sound a bit forced.
task response
Add one more clear explanation after each example to show why it supports your view.
task response
Develop the second body part more fully. It is less clear than the first one.
task response
Be careful with word choice and small grammar mistakes, because they can make ideas less clear.
task response
Your essay has a clear opinion from the start to the end.
coherence and cohesion
You use a simple four-part structure: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
You include relevant examples about Africa and the Aral Sea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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