IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people say it is manufactures and supermarkets responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of products they sell and others say it is the consumers responsibility to avoid buying products with too much packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Some people believe that
industries
Use synonyms
 and
tosupermarkets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
 are take initiative to decrease the usage of
packing
Replace the word
packaging
 goods.
meanwhile
Fix capitalization
Meanwhile
show examples
, others have an
openin
Correct your spelling
opinion
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
consumer
Check wording
consumers
show examples
 should avoid
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 type of
too much packing
Replace the word
overly packed
 food. I will discuss both views in the following passages.
Body · 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, Manufactures are give importance to packaging
Use synonyms
foods
Check wording
food
show examples
. Most of the people show interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 packaging
Use synonyms
foods
Check wording
food
show examples
, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
items would be stored for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 Manufactures was not taking any responsibility to minimise packing items.
For example
Linking Words
,
Recently i
Fix capitalization
recently I
show examples
 bought a
cheps
Correct your spelling
cheap
 packet
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it was packed with
plastic
Correct article usage
a plastic
show examples
 cover.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 it comes for
industries
Use synonyms
, so better to minimise these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of packing items in
industries
Use synonyms
.
Body · 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, Consumers are not aware
about
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 packing goods are safe or not,
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 lack of
awareness
Punctuation problem
awareness,
show examples
made them to buy
Verb problem
they end up buying
show examples
 sealed
foods
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
consumer
Check wording
consumers
show examples
 should check any product before buying and avoid
health related
Correct your spelling
health-related
 issues.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Manufacturing
industries
Use synonyms
 and super market are take responsibility to control packing
foods
Use synonyms
.
meanwhile
Fix capitalization
Meanwhile
show examples
, Consumers
also
Linking Words
 try to avoid these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of sealed products.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly, then give your own view in a direct way.
task response
Write one main idea in each body part and explain it more.
task response
Use a real and clear example to support each main point.
coherence cohesion
Make links between ideas with easy words like first, next, however, and in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Check sentence order so each part follows in a clear way.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about packing many times.
task response
You answered both views and gave a short opinion at the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You used simple linking words like firstly, secondly, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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