IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction from 2030 adn 2040.

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The line
graph
Use synonyms
 illustrates data about the proportion of
living
Check wording
people living
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 in urban areas
Use synonyms
community's for
Change preposition
in
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 four Asian regions between 1970 and
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
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 with
expected
Correct article usage
the expected
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people
Check wording
population
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 between 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
,
In
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
graph
Use synonyms
portraying
Wrong verb form
portrays
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 how four
country's
Fix the agreement mistake
countries' communities
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community
Use synonyms
 increase and decrease over the time period. In beggining of the period,Malaysia had
much
Correct article usage
a much
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 popupation
also
Linking Words
 in expected
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
.Thailand's population
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
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 the highest amongst all of them.
However
Linking Words
, Indonesia had the lowest
community
Use synonyms
 in the starting
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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after
Fix capitalization
After
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 it's become the 2nd highest
community
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
graph
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
is
Verb problem
apply
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the lowest population
in
Change preposition
at
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 the
starting
Replace the word
start
 of the
graph
Use synonyms
the
Verb problem
is the
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 Philippine and the thailand use to around 20% and 30% people
lived
Wrong verb form
living
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.
Likeas
Correct word choice
As
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 in the expected year there population is more likely the lowest
then
Linking Words
 Malaysia and Thailand.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, community with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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