IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction from 2030 adn 2040.

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The line graph shows
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of peoples whose lived in urban cities of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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,Malaysia,Thailand and Indonesia from 1970 to 2020
also
Linking Words
 expected
population
Use synonyms
within
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2030 to 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 1970 Indonesia had only around 14
percent peoples
Check wording
per cent of the population
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; however
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however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 in 2040 it
will
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 expected
60
Verb problem
to have 60
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
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 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in
1970
Punctuation problem
1970,
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 there was only 30 percent
population
Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
, whereas
show examples
 in 2020 its dramatically
rise
Verb problem
risen
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Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 in Malaysia and
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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Philippines
Add a comma
Philippines,
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 there are similar
in
Check wording
populations
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population
Use synonyms
.where Thailad
population
Use synonyms
 is
rise
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 steadily, not rapidly.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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