The rise of social media has affected personal relations and society as a whole. Do the advantage of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages? (KN)

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Introduction

Nowadays, the increasing social

media

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has impacted

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apply

show examples

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people

Correct word order

people's relationships and our societies

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relationships

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and our socities.

Body · 1

A disadvantage of

this

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can come from

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relationships comparing

Replace the word

relationship comparisons

This

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rises with

people

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oversharing content about their

mariage

Correct your spelling

marriage

while

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other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

can compare between them and what they see on the internet.

Whereas

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, social

media

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can save

children

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from

miss some

Replace the word

missing

important roles in their

lives

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. When the

father

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out

Verb problem

is out

show examples

for work. Now, he can communicate with his

children

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also

Linking Words

he follow

Correct subject-verb agreement

follows

show examples

their

activities

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. Because of

this

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, it can have more advantages than its the drawback.

Body · 2

Firstly

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, sometimes

people

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can go to work

out of

Change preposition

in a country other than

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their country,

also

Linking Words

, far from their families.

While

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

their

children

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can be affected negatively

from

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show examples

this

Linking Words

. If their parents are absent, they might miss them in a lot of

acspects

Correct your spelling

aspects

in their

lives

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. But, social

media

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can save

this

Linking Words

sucessfully Application

Correct your spelling

successful application

Linking Words

such

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, such

show examples

Fix capitalization

show examples

and

massenger

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Messenger

, the child can call his

father

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everyday

Rephrase

every day

show examples

for unlimited hours

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also

Punctuation problem

, also

show examples

for free.

This

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can make a

father

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know his

children

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day details. And, the

father

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can follow their

activities

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on other apps

such

Linking Words

instagram

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Instagram

show examples

. On

this

Linking Words

Correct word order

, he can also

show examples

also

Linking Words

, he can know their circles and their lifestyle outdoors with their friends on Instagram stories. All these

application

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applications

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

can be

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apply

show examples

tools for the

father

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to ensure their

children

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do not feel their absence.

Also

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this

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can reflect positively on the

child

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child's

show examples

performance. When

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apply

show examples

he can feel that his

father

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see

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sees

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his

activities

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. He can behave

good

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well

show examples

if he feels that there is someone

supervisied

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supervising

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him anywhere.

Body · 3

Even though

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apply

show examples

A lot of

people

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can follow

celebraties

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celebrities

and famous

people

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relationshps on social

media

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. Those

infuluncers

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influencers

sometimes share daily posts and stories for their

relationships

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. When

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apply

show examples

most of these posts can depict

perfect

Correct article usage

a perfect

show examples

life without any problems. They go out

everyday

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every day

show examples

, they dress

good

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well

show examples

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also

Correct word choice

and

show examples

they

show

Rephrase

also show

show examples

their love online.

While

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Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

ordenary

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ordinary

people

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see them, they might compare their

lives

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with them. As

the

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show examples

result, they feel pity about themselves. And blame their partner for not doing the same with them. Because of

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this

Punctuation problem

this,

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a lot

conflicts

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of conflicts

show examples

can happen between couples.

Then

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, they

relise

Correct your spelling

realise

that they have a different

potintial

Correct your spelling

potential

from

people

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on the screens.

Conclusion

In conclusion, A disadvantage of

this

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can come from

Use synonyms

relationships comparing

Correct word order

comparing relationships

show examples

This

Linking Words

rises with

people

Use synonyms

oversharing content about their

mariage

Correct your spelling

marriage

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

can compare between them and what they see on the internet.

Whereas

Linking Words

, social

media

Use synonyms

can save

children

Use synonyms

from

miss some

Replace the word

missing

important roles in their

lives

Use synonyms

. When the

father

Use synonyms

out

Verb problem

is out

show examples

for work. Now, he can communicate with his

children

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

he follow

Correct subject-verb agreement

follows

show examples

their

activities

Use synonyms

. Because of

this

Linking Words

, it can have more advantages than its the drawback.

kohack23

May 29, 2026

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task response

Answer the question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.

coherence cohesion

Make your main idea very clear in each body part. Start each part with one simple topic sentence.

task response

Explain your ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words in a simple and correct way. Some words like 'while' and 'because of this' are not used well.

coherence cohesion

Do not repeat the introduction again in the conclusion. Write a short final answer with your main view.

task response

Keep examples clear and close to the topic. Your example about a father working away is relevant, but it should be shorter and better explained.

task response

You answered both sides: one good point and one bad point.

task response

You gave a clear example about a father using social media to stay close to his children.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

433 words

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The rise of social media has affected personal relations and society as a whole. Do the advantage of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages? (KN)

Some people say that school children should be given individual class work, while others think that working in small groups is better for them. Discuss both approaches and include your own opinion.

1. People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have more become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.