The two pie charts shows the employment pattern in great Britain in 1992

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The two pie charts above illustrate the number of male and female employers in the manual and Non-manual sectors in Great Britain in the year of 1992. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
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, it's clear that female
workers
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are fans of Non-manual
jobs
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( Clerical and Managerial).
While
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male
workers
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have lower
rates
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in Clerical and related
jobs
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.
Firstly
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, the pattern starts high with female
rates
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in Clerical and related
jobs
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at almost 31%,
while
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male
workers
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have lower
rates
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at approximately 6%.
However
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, male citizens are big fans of Managerial and professional
jobs
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, with
rates
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at 36. Females are at 29%. Other Non-manual
jobs
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have low
rates
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, not counting over 10%.
On the other hand
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, for the manual
jobs
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, female and male
workers
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are similar in
rates
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with Craft
jobs
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( 27% , 26%).
While
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for General labourers, both genders are low in employment , not passing over 2%. Other manual
jobs
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have fame in males' path, with
rates
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at closely 24%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, jobs, rates with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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