Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals believe that
children
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should be encouraged to do team
activity
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activities
show examples
in their free
time
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,
while
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others argue that it is
essiential
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essential
that they learn to keep themselves busy on their own.
This
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essay will state that
while
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giving
children
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freedom to choose their own leisure activity is important,
group
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tasks
teaches
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teach
show examples
them social
skills
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.
Group
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actvities
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activities
can help young kids in many ways.
Firstly
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, it helps them learn from others and improves their social and communication
skills
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. When
children
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spend their free
time
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performing
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task
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tasks
show examples
together, they learn good social norms,
team work
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teamwork
and make new friends.
Moreover
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,these
skills
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are
essiential
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essential
for their
overall
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personality development.
For example
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, taking part in a
task
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like gardening
along with
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a
group
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of friends can help them learn good moral actions in a fun and enjoyable way. On the flip side, many people think that it is
essiential
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essential
for
children
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to keep themselves busy on their own as it helps them get independent. It is
also
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of paramount importance for parents to give
children
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the freedom to choose their own leisure
activity
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activities
show examples
.
This
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allows them to explore their own talent and
also
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choose
task
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which they find interesting and enjoyable.
For instance
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, many
children
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love doing activities they are good at in their free
time
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.
This
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helps improve their
skills
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and learn to
utilize
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utilise
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their
time
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in a fun and productive manner. To sum it up,
although
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giving
children
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the freedom to spend their free
time
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in their own way is important,
group
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activites
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activities
have several advantages which can be
bebeficial
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beneficial
for them in
long
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the long
show examples
term.
Therefore
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, in my opinion, parents should motivate their
children
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to perform
group
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Use synonyms
task
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tasks
show examples
together.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You did this, but your own view can be stronger and more direct.
task response
Add one or two more clear ideas for each side so your answer feels more complete.
task response
Use examples with a little more detail. This will make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few sentences feel short and separate.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with repeated words like group task and free time. Small changes can make the essay flow better.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your own opinion clearly in the end.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like firstly, moreover, on the flip side, and therefore.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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