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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Universities should replace face-to-face classes with online courses. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, it has been observed that higher
education
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 should
exchange
Verb problem
replace
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 traditional study methods with modern ways.
Although
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 some advocates argue that universities do not need to transform their
education
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 systems, I strongly agree with the idea that higher
education
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 should replace on-campus
education
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 with remote
education
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.
This
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 essay will examine the extent to which
this
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 is necessary;
in addition
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, it will consider other significant reasons,
such
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 as reducing heavy financial burdens on families and learning new
skills
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. A major argument in favour of
this
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 perspective is that
this
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 approach helps households to reduce expenses. In fact, most families have more than one child, so they will struggle to earn sufficient money to cover the demands of every single child. A study published by New York University concluded that 89% of families whose children study via electronic learning
minimized
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minimised
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 their outlays by half.
Consequently
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, they did not suffer from financial or social hardships. Another fundamental reason is that learning from home allows learners to acquire novel skill sets.
This
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 means that when students rely more on technology, it leads to
developing
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the development of
 some
skills
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 that are not taught in traditional institutions,
such
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 as e-commerce. A recent statistic released indicated that regions which adopted digital learning platforms showed double the creative
skills
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 compared to those who studied on campus. In conclusion, I firmly believe that web-based
education
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 is more beneficial than
in-person
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in-person education
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learning
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Learning
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 because it helps in saving money and gaining new
skills
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. It is highly recommended that governments should primarily rely on virtual sessions.

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task response
Make your main answer more exact. The topic says 'replace' all face-to-face classes. You agree, but you do not fully explain why full replacement is better than a mixed system.
task response
Add one idea about a problem of face-to-face study or one answer to the other side. This will make your position stronger and more complete.
task response
Some examples sound too general or maybe not fully real, like the numbers from studies. Use simple, clear examples and explain them more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but some parts feel a little sudden. Add short sentences to connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph has one main idea, but the support is a bit short. Explain how online study helps students learn these new skills in daily study.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep it to the end.
task response
You answer the topic and give two main reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are grouped in a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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