In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

Technological change and the

increase

Use synonyms

in personal wealth have contributed to the improvement in life expectancy, and many countries have seen their population ageing at an unprecedented pace. The problems of

this

Linking Words

demographic change far outweigh its positive impact. One social problem related to population ageing is that the medical

cost

Check wording

costs

show examples

will

increase

Use synonyms

dramatically and hurt the economy. The need for medical care

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

well as the spending on

Punctuation problem

it,

show examples

tends to

increase

Use synonyms

with age. Elderly

people

Use synonyms

are prone to health problems

such

Linking Words

as heart disease, arthritis and cancer, so a country with a large proportion of

people

Use synonyms

over 65 has to

increase

Use synonyms

the expenditure on medical services to treat

aging-related

Change the spelling

ageing-related

show examples

conditions.

This

Linking Words

leads to a budget cut for education, infrastructure projects and scientific research, which can

affect a

Correct word order

adversely affect a society

show examples

society

Use synonyms

adversely not only in the quality of life but

also

Linking Words

in long-term economic growth. Another problem is that the productivity of the whole

society

Use synonyms

will drop as the number of workers aged 65 and above increases. An ageing

society

Use synonyms

normally has to raise the pension eligibility age to keep the pension scheme running, so it is not unusual for senior citizens to stay in the workforce even in their 60s. These

people

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, struggle with cognitive decline and other conditions which can limit their ability to process information and handle work. If they delay retirement, their poor performance may have an adverse impact on companies’ productivity.

This

Linking Words

can exacerbate the economic problem mentioned earlier and have an adverse impact on social progress.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is possible that societies can tap into the wisdom and experience of elderly

people

Use synonyms

. Having worked for decades, they are experts in their fields of work and have practical experience, specialist knowledge and work-related tips that they can share with younger generations. Senior business managers,

for example

Linking Words

, teach young

people

Use synonyms

how to manage a company and to deal with complaints and queries of clients,

while

Linking Words

veteran researchers can pass on their knowledge to young scientists about how to oversee and execute projects.

This

Linking Words

would not happen if

people

Use synonyms

did not live long lives. In conclusion, a rapidly-ageing population can impose a strain on the medical system and reduce the productivity of a country. These social issues cannot be tackled easily,

although

Linking Words

the wisdom of elderly

people

Use synonyms

can yield benefits for

society

Use synonyms

1574312840

May 31, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

For task response, your main view is clear, but add one more direct line in the introduction to fully answer the question.

task response

For task response, your examples are good, but they are a bit general. Add one more real and clear example.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a clear order. To make it even better, use a few more linking words between some ideas.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, some long sentences carry many ideas. Split one or two of them to make the path easier to follow.

task response

For task response, you answer both sides and give a clear opinion that the bad effects are stronger.

task response

For task response, your body parts stay on the topic and explain the main points well.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear opening, body, and ending.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea and good support.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

388 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Government should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is a commonly accepted fact that governments should take responsibility for protecting the environment in their respective countries. However, it is also true that people should be held accountable for taking care of their local environment. This essay will discuss why citizens should be responsible for their local environment and why governments should take an active role in this matter.
7.5
band
The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The restoration of historic buildings in major cities often incurs substantial government expenditure. Some argue that these funds should instead be allocated to constructing new housing and roads to address modern urban challenges. While prioritizing new infrastructure is undoubtedly essential, I believe that preserving historical buildings holds significant cultural, economic, and societal value, and thus a balanced approach is necessary.
6.5
band
Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Although it is often that children ought to have extracurriucular activities after school hours, other people think that they may lead them to be under pressure. In my opinion, I consider that extracuricular activities help children learn new skills.
6
band
Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
While some people believe that there is significant harmful content on the internet and the only way that can be safe is if the government censor the content of websites, I strongly believe that the government should control only the information that is harmful to individuals or can commit a crime through regulations.
8
band
In some companies, social skills are given priority over qualifications when screening their possible employees. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
It goes without saying that communication skills play a crucial role in each occupation and job due to being the core quality of employees that are needed for a corporation's positive outcomes. It has been argued that when heads of companies search for potential workers, the main thing is how they find a common language with ordinary individuals in society. Personally, I think this tendency has both advantages and disadvantages, which will be explained in the following paragraphs.

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

Government should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. Do you agree or disagree?

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs enormous government expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some companies, social skills are given priority over qualifications when screening their possible employees. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.