IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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I agree with the statement that there should be no government restriction on creative
artists
Use synonyms
 who express themselves in the way they do and that they must be given freedom for the same. Expression has always been the keynote in a person's life. It is the result of
mere
Correct article usage
the mere
show examples
 expression of our thoughts that we are able to communicate. Restrictions on how we present our thoughts
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 senseless. Creative
artists
Use synonyms
 play a major role in our society, be it the government, old people, the youth or the children. Their works enlighten our minds, no matter if
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 factual or
entertainment based
Correct your spelling
entertainment-based
. It is
diserving
Correct your spelling
deserving
 that after a
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day's
show examples
 work when we want to take some time off for ourselves, we look
out
Verb problem
apply
show examples
for some leisure,
for instance
Linking Words
: either pleasant music or a family movie which soothes the mind. Entertainment
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us an overview of a new side of life which every individual respects. There is almost everything good in what is given to us through the media word which is made up of
artistes
Correct your spelling
artists
.
On the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
contrary,
show examples
 sometimes these artistes tend to be unscrupulous. They convert rumours into facts and present them before us.
This
Linking Words
 might impair the reputation of some illustrious people in today's society. On
such
Linking Words
 occasions, certain restrictions are understandable.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
 we all do know what is right or wrong. Rules and regulations
not always are
Correct word order
are not always
show examples
 the solution to how artistes present their own ideas.
Linking Words
Hence
Punctuation problem
Hence,
show examples
 it is doltish to be impetuous
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the government should enforce alternative ways to control the media. Respect for
ones
Correct determiner usage
one's
show examples
 ideas is not only hypothetical but must be practised. It is through respect that each one of us can be recognised as a unique person in the world.
This
Linking Words
 can be achieved by looking at the bright side of what
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
i.e.
Punctuation problem
, i.e.
show examples
 the creative
Use synonyms
artists
Punctuation problem
artists,
show examples
 display for us. Not a day can go by
when
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 look out for colourful dreams and a beautiful life
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 we can find either through music, poetry, films, pictures
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 everything that the creative
artists
Use synonyms
 offer us.

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task response
State your main view more clearly and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your points.
task response
Explain more why some control may be needed, and how this still fits your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like 'first', 'however', 'for example', and 'in conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the one before it.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion from the start.
task response
You include both sides of the issue, which shows some range of thought.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, such as 'On the contrary' and 'Nevertheless'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom of expression
  • Censorship
  • Artistic integrity
  • Cultural identity
  • Social responsibility
  • Public order
  • Discrimination
  • Hate speech
  • Self-regulation
  • Government intervention
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Creativity
  • Democracy
  • Fundamental right
  • Moral obligation
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