More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days, numerous young generations are getting overconsumed by food, especially in big regions.
This
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issue drives several disadvantages that may affect to structural of specific regions. Based on my perspective, there are a lot of points that relate to why
this
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problem occurs and what will happen to
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
To begin
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with, getting over-consumed by meals is one of the patterns that may lead the
community
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to an end, particularly in young generations.
This
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will happen because getting too much to eat for each individual allows them to be less active.
In addition
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, the existence of the technology could make
this
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thing even worse.
For instance
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, the current technology called food delivery application makes not only teenagers, but
also
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folks
getting
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get
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lazier over time. The consequence of these habits may lead to several dangerous illnesses,
such
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as diabetes and obesity.
According to
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recent research, these diseases have been the leading cause of death in the world, especially in modern
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community
Check wording
communities
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.
On the other hand
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, the quality of education will be highly affected as well.
This
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is obviously the crucial part of being a wealthy country. If
this
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sort of thing continues to happen, it is undeniable that the
community
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will be facing the lack of education and the country's goals, which are prosperity, will be just a dream. In conclusion, the over-consumed habit of all generations, especially the young generation
is
Verb problem
,
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greatly affect to the several problems,
such
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as certain diseases and the quality of education. If
this
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sort of problem keeps happening, the
community
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will not be able to follow the dream of being
wealthy
Correct article usage
a wealthy
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community
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.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully: say more about causes and more about effects.
task response
Use ideas that match the topic exactly. The topic is about children in rich countries, not all people or all places.
task response
Give one or two clear examples with real detail to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words clearly, like first, also, as a result, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects to the one before it. Some parts change too fast.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear start, body, and end.
task response
You try to discuss causes and effects, so you address the task.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like to begin with, in addition, and in conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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