IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely argued that
government
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 should stop using
money
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 on reconstruction of old
buildings
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 in urban areas.
While
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 some people believe that old
buildings
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 are used to generate
income
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 to
government
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 by using tourist places, I agree with
this
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 view to a large extent.
This
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 essay will explain the main reasons for my position. Body Paragraph 1: The first reason why I hold
this
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 view is that old
buildings
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 does not generate
income
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.
In other words
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, there is no infrastructure development in using
money
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 on constructions of old
buildings
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For example
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, Nowadays every state start to construct new cities
instead
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 of using
money
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 on historical
buildings
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. Another important reason is that there is a chance of falling down or damage of old
buildings
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 in future.
This
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 means that waste of
money
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 and risk of people life.
As a result
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, it is reasonable to argue that spend
money
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 on historical
buildings
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 may cause negative impact. Body Paragraph 2: Admittedly, opponents may claim that historical heritage of culture because these are reflect our culture and tradition.
However
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, spend
money
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 for houses and roads increase
income
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 to
government
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 and infrastructure to public,
Therefore
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, despite the opposing view, I still believe that
government
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 should spend
money
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 on road and houses
instead
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 of old constructions. Conclusion: In conclusion,
although
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 there is some truth in the argument that it is our heritage but I strongly believe that revenue generation to
government
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 is important.
This
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 is mainly because no
income
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 and public safety.

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task response
Make your main idea very clear from the start and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Add one or two clear examples that directly support your idea about roads, homes, and old buildings.
task response
Explain each main point more. Say why roads and housing help people and the city.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, however, and in conclusion to connect ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph and develop it with a reason and an example.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some ideas are hard to follow because grammar breaks the flow.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to compare both sides before giving your final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • historic
  • heritage
  • preservation
  • conservation
  • restoration
  • urban development
  • housing
  • road infrastructure
  • tourism
  • revenue
  • community
  • identity
  • property values
  • craftsmanship
  • architectural styles
  • job creation
  • economic growth
  • compromise
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