In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarket gives money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

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Linking Words

this

Fix capitalization

This

show examples

is not positive to the

student

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

therefore

Linking Words

, the

schools

Use synonyms

should not accept their

promote

Replace the word

promotion

. The question is, there are many countries

junk

Correct word choice

where junk

show examples

food

Use synonyms

and supermarket gives money to

school

Check wording

schools

show examples

to promote their products. In my opinion, I believe

this

Linking Words

is a negative

Punctuation problem

. In

show examples

in addition

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, the

schools

Use synonyms

should encourge

student

Use synonyms

to eat healthy

food

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of junk

food

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to introduce more details about

this

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topic and provide

examles

Correct your spelling

examples

. First of all.

there

Fix capitalization

There

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are many countries which support

the

Check wording

students

show examples

student

Use synonyms

to eat fast

food

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of healthy

food

Use synonyms

Linking Words

this

Fix capitalization

This

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is terrible

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Punctuation problem

;

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moreover

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, they might get health

problem

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problems

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while

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they are still

children

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Punctuation problem

. In

show examples

in addition

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, the fast

food

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makes them lazy

and

Punctuation problem

, and

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also

Linking Words

they will not be independent

children

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For instance

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, in India, there are many

schools

Use synonyms

that sell fast

food

Use synonyms

to the

student

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as a result

Linking Words

, there are many fat

children

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and lazy

children

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, the

children

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have to drink

malk

Correct your spelling

milk

every day and eat healthy

food

Use synonyms

because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthy

food

Use synonyms

helps them to grow their body and their

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

schools

Use synonyms

should bring

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

food

Use synonyms

restaurant and give them some courses that

desribe

Correct your spelling

describe

how

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

affect negatevly their body and their brain.

For instance

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

Saudi

Arabia

Add a comma

Arabia,

show examples

all

schools

Use synonyms

there sell only healthy

food

Use synonyms

and give them courses that

desribe

Correct your spelling

describe

how healthy

food

Use synonyms

affects

positively their body and their brain

Correct word order

their body and their brain positively

show examples

. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion, I would argue that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fast

food

Use synonyms

is not good

Change preposition

for

show examples

their health and it is totally negative. They should bring healthy

food

Use synonyms

to the pupils

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as milk, eggs, cornflex. I have provided some examples that support my opinion.

In addition

Linking Words

, the

schools

Use synonyms

are

essential

Correct article usage

an essential

show examples

part of the

child

Check wording

child's

show examples

life,

therefore

Linking Words

, we have to do our best in

this

Linking Words

part.

SSaabb23

Jun 2, 2026

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task response

Make your main answer more clear in the first part. Say in a direct way that this is a negative development and why.

task response

Add one or two more clear ideas about why school should not take money from these companies. This will make your answer more full.

task response

Your examples are helpful, but they need more detail. Explain how they support your main point.

coherence and cohesion

Put your ideas in a more clear order. Some lines are hard to follow because the link from one idea to the next is weak.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple linking words well, like first, also, because, for example, and in conclusion. Do not put too many ideas in one sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Make each body part focus on one main idea only. This will help the reader follow your essay more easily.

task response

You answer the question and give a clear opinion that this is negative.

task response

You use examples from India and Saudi Arabia, and this helps support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use some linking words like first of all, however, for instance, and in conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sponsorship
commercialism
educational funding
brand loyalty
public health concerns
critical thinking
unhealthy eating habits
nutritional education
corporate influence
scholarships
educational resources
marketing strategies
ethical considerations
consumer habits
financial incentives
underfunded schools
health implications

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In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarket gives money to schools to promote their products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that goverment should make it free for all student no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy.The benefits of nuclear technologies far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree? —-

Mobile phones and the Internet could have many benefits for old people. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for old people of using mobile phones and the Internet? How can we encourage them to use this new