Many people believe that family has greater influence in child life and development as compared to other factors such as friends, tv, music and so on? Do you agree or disagree with the content ?

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It has been observed that
,
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apply
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the influential effect
over
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on
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the
toddlers
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toddlers'
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lives is affected by several factors.
Altough
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Although
some people believe that family has a great impact in
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child
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child's
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life and development
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while
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, while
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consideration to
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considering
other effects like
friends
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,
tv
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TV
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, music and so on. I firmly disagree with the
with the
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apply
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given statement. My inclination is elaborated in
ensuing
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the ensuing
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paragraph and relevant examples. The foremost argument to justify my stand is that
the
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friends
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play a crucial role in
children
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children's
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lives. Since toddlers sometimes do not know what to do
a
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in a
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situation when they encounter a problem, they
immidately
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immediately
consult their
friends
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for help because they are more comfortable with their peers
intead
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instead
of their parents.
For instance
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, when they meet
a
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somebody who they highly interest, they ask their fellows what they should do to start a relationship or to cease it.
Besides
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this
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, it is
also
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true that they always seek a place to go and enjoy, based on their
classmates
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classmates'
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choices. To illustrate that they always look
the
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at the
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places where their environment
go
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goes
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and take
an
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apply
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advice from their peers.
Furthermore
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, the other reason to prove my point is that these
relationship
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relationships
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create a
meaningfull
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meaningful
link with their daily habits. Since
,
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they
percieve
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perceive
many behaviours from their environment
these
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, these
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lead to affect
over
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apply
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their point of
views
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view
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.
For example
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, every
child
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watches their
friends
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' social media posts and videos, and generally they follow
common
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the common
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belief
what
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of what
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they see
and
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, and
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they adapt
for
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to
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the idea
what
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of what
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people think.
In addition
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, the fact that they don't go
the
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to the
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places where their folks don't like
even
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, even
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the
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though the
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places are vibrant and cool.
On the contrary
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, some people
counter claim
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counterclaim
the mentioned support. The foremost argument they
do
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make
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is that parents can control their
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child
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child's
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life and they can shape it. To add
this
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, they can
also
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have a say about their
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child
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child's
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friendship preferences.
For example
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, they can take some precautions to avaoid the some posts and videos on
the
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apply
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social media
and
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, and
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they set the rules for their social life.
Bu
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But
all of them cannot work on in person relationship between two
children
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children,
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they
have
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still have
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stiil a space where they can share their ideas and thoughts without their families.
To conclude
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the discussion, it can be said that despite the fact of rules which are set by the families and taken precautions, my reasons that
friends
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and their thoughts always have a great impact
over
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on
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a
child
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live are logically acceptable.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear from the start. Say in a direct way why you disagree.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully. Some points are hard to follow, so add one clear reason and one clear result.
task response
Use examples that are more real and exact. This will make your answer stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. Now, some sentences repeat the same point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Use words like first, also, for example, and however correctly.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some parts are hard to understand because the ideas do not connect well.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • development
  • values
  • guidance
  • foundational
  • personality
  • behavior
  • intellectual
  • emotional
  • peer influence
  • external factors
  • dominant
  • adolescence
  • essential
  • impact
  • shaping
  • media exposure
  • role models
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