IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that advertising encourages people to buy unnecessary things, while others think that advertising provides useful information about products and services. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate about whether advertising encourages
people
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 to purchase unnecessary
products
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 or whether it provides useful
information
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 about goods and services.
While
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 some argue that advertising leads
people
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 to buy
products
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 they do not need, others believe that it provides
consumers
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 with valuable
information
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. From my perspective, advertising is generally beneficial as it helps
people
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 make informed decisions,
although
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 it can sometimes encourage unnecessary spending. On the one hand, opponents of advertising argue that it can have a negative influence on consumer behaviour. In many cases, advertisements are designed to persuade
people
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 to buy
products
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 that are not essential. Companies often use attractive visuals and emotional messages to create a desire for items that
consumers
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 may not actually need.
As a result
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, individuals may end up spending money on unnecessary goods, which can lead to financial waste and materialistic behaviour.
On the other hand
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, supporters of advertising believe that it plays an important role in informing
consumers
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. Advertising allows
people
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 to learn about new
products
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, compare different options, and make more informed choices.
For example
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, advertisements for technology or healthcare
products
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 often provide detailed
information
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 about features and benefits, which can help customers select the most suitable option.
Therefore
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, advertising can be a useful tool for improving market awareness and supporting better decision-making. In conclusion,
although
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 advertising can sometimes encourage unnecessary consumption, I believe that its advantages are more significant because it provides valuable
information
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 and helps
consumers
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 make informed choices.

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task response
Give one more clear example to support each main idea.
task response
Explain your opinion a bit more in the body, not only in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'for example', 'as a result', and 'however' with more variety.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph a little fuller with one extra supporting sentence.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow from start to end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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