IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that robots are important for human’s future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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modren
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modern
 era, automated machines have had
major
Correct article usage
a major
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 impact on
Use synonyms
humans
Correct word choice
human
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life
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 in
negative
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both negative
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 and positive ways. Some argue that
robots
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 are important in
Use synonyms
humans
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human
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 future growth,
while
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 others believe that it effects human
life
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 negatively. I strongly disagree with
this
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 notion. In
further
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paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
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 I will discuss both views and present my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, smart devices have made
works more
Replace the word
work
 easier for
humans
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.
Robots
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 can do work faster and more accurately.
As a result
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, those
task which
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tasks that
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 take
longer
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a longer
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 period of time
now can
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can now
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 be achieved in
few
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a few
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 days and hours
like
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, as
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 in industries, factories and
in
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apply
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hospitals. For
intance
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instance
,
robots
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 perform dangerous or difficult tasks
such
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 as mining, bomb disposal and heavy lifting
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 keep people protected.
Moreover
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, some countries have deployed self-driven trucks to keep the city clean and collect community waste to waste management
centers
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centres
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.
However
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, machines have overtaken
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humans
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human
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 roles and resposibilites which have effected the
life
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 of
lower
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the lower
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 class
, many worker
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. Many workers
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 lost their jobs because automated
machine
Check wording
machines
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 have replaced human intervention in factories and in industries
such
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 as heavy production and automated packaging.
Therefore
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, it increases unemployment
which
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, which
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 makes people
more lazy
Replace the word
lazier
and
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, and
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 they stop learning new skills.
For example
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,
robot
Correct article usage
a robot
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 vacuum machine. People may become more dependent on
robot
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robots
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 for simple tasks. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 humanoids have both negative and positive impacts on human society
but
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, but
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 it is true that
robots
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 support the future advancement of humanity
so
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, so
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 in my
opinion
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opinion,
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robots
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improves the
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
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 human
life
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 by making work
more
Rephrase
apply
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easier, faster and safer.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. Your view is clear, but the good side is much stronger than the bad side.
task response
Add one more clear idea for the bad side, such as safety, cost, or less human contact.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your examples are relevant, but they are too short.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea, then explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like First, Also, On the other hand, For example, and As a result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar errors. Write shorter sentences to make your meaning clear.
task response
You answered all parts of the question and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used relevant examples like mining, bomb disposal, and robot vacuum machines.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Automation
  • Technological advancements
  • Workforce displacement
  • Ethical considerations
  • Innovation
  • Labor market
  • Safety protocols
  • Machine learning
  • Human-robot interaction
  • Economic impact
  • Job creation
  • Cybersecurity
  • Autonomous
  • Precision
  • Dependency
  • Regulation
  • Risk assessment
  • Adaptation
  • Unemployment
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