Some people believe that the radio is more enjoyable and practical than TV. Do you agree or disagree?

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There has always been a controversy regarding whether radio is better than TV. Some
people
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opine that radio is more enjoyable and practical than
television
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,
while
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others disagree. As far as I am concerned, I disagree with
this
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statement because
television
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is more entertaining, practical, and informative. Radio has been a form of entertainment for many years. Older generations are familiar with
this
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innovation, and adjusting to newer technologies in the modern age can be challenging for them.
As a result
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, they may not prefer
television
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.
In addition
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,
radios
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are smaller in size and portable, which makes them more convenient to use than a
television
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screen.
Therefore
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, many
people
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still find
radios
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useful in their daily lives.
On the other hand
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,
television
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has become a necessity in
this
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generation. It offers streaming services
such
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as Netflix, Amazon Prime, and other platforms that provide a wide variety of entertainment.
Moreover
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, it helps save money since everything can be found in one place, and there is no need to rent movies separately.
Television
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is
also
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more practical because it provides access to news, educational programs, documentaries, and entertainment through a single device.
Furthermore
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,
radios
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are only audible,
whereas
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television
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is both visual and audible, which creates a theatre-like experience when watching a movie.
Thus
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, it encourages social interaction and quality family time.
For example
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, after a tiring day and a scrumptious dinner, families often sit together in the living room to watch a movie or a comedy skit, which helps them bond and unwind.
Moreover
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, young
people
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nowadays connect with one another based on the genres of series they watch and share similar interests. In conclusion, I believe that TVs are more enjoyable and practical than
radios
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because they are more interactive, informative, and visually appealing. They help
people
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engage in conversations, strengthen social connections, and connect individuals who share similar interests.

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task response
Make your main answer more direct in the first part. Say clearly that you disagree, and keep this idea strong in all body parts.
task response
Add one more clear example for why TV is more practical in real life. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Some points are a bit wide, like money saving and social connection. Explain them in a simpler and more exact way.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words carefully. You already use 'On the other hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' well, but do not add too many ideas in one paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The second body paragraph is strong, but the first body paragraph supports the other side too much. Make sure each paragraph helps your main view.
task response
You answered the question and gave a clear opinion.
task response
Your ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
coherence cohesion
You used a clear paragraph plan with introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your final paragraph closes the essay well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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