IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of non-medical staff in a particular clinicbetween 2000 and 2015

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The bar chart compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of employees working in five categories of non-medical
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 in a UK clinic in 2000, 2005, 2010 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
maintenance
Use synonyms
 staff constituted the largest group at the beginning of the
period
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,
while
Linking Words
 administration became the largest category by 2015.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 terms of trends, the
number
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 of administration and cleaning staff increased considerably,
whereas
Linking Words
maintenance
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 and catering employment declined
overall
Linking Words
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, security staffing levels remained relatively stable throughout the
period
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. Both administration and cleaning experienced notable growth over the 15-year
period
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. The
number
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 of administrative employees rose steadily from 25 in 2000 to 34 in 2005, before increasing to 41 in 2010 and reaching a peak of 43 in 2015.
Linking Words
similarly
Fix capitalization
Similarly
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, cleaning staff increased from 22 to 29 between 2000 and 2010 and
then
Linking Words
 climbed sharply to 41 by the end of the
period
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, employment in
maintenance
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 and catering generally declined.
Maintenance
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 staffing levels fell from 45 in 2000 to 41 in 2005 and eventually dropped to 35 in 2015, despite a temporary recovery to 44 in 2010.
Linking Words
likewise
Fix capitalization
Likewise
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, the
number
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 of catering workers decreased
overall
Linking Words
 from 37 to 30,
although
Linking Words
briefly
Correct pronoun usage
it briefly
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 returned to 37 in 2010.
meanwhile
Fix capitalization
Meanwhile
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, security staffing levels showed only minor fluctuations, varying between 27
to
Correct word choice
and
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 30 employees throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, maintenance, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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