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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the number of universities ranked top 200 in the world (2011) in three subjects in five countries.

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The table compares five countries in terms of how many were ranked in 3 subjects.
Overall
Linking Words
,
USA
Use synonyms
universities
Use synonyms
 were dominant among other countries
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 New Zealand had the fewest numbers in
ranking
Correct article usage
the ranking
show examples
.
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
 had 69
univesities
Correct your spelling
universities
 specialised
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 biology that
in
Verb problem
were in
show examples
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 200, which was the highest point.
While
Linking Words
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had 2 times less
number
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, Australia and Canada experienced
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 numbers with 9. Among these
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 New Zealand had
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
universities
Use synonyms
 at 6. In terms of pharmacology
Use synonyms
universities
Punctuation problem
, universities
show examples
Use synonyms
USA
Change preposition
in the USA
show examples
 were leading with 54
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
substantially more than others. Australia and Canada
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 nearly equal. With 1 more university in Australia.
While
Linking Words
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 figures
twiced
Wrong verb form
twice
show examples
 Canada's
number
Use synonyms
. 58
universities
Use synonyms
 were in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 ranking for
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 where psychology
educated
Verb problem
is educated
show examples
. At that time,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had 2 times less
universities
Use synonyms
 than
USA
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Linking Words
this figure
Check wording
the number of Canadian universities
show examples
 was doubled the
Canadaian
Check wording
UK
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
number
Use synonyms
. 17 Australian
universities
Use synonyms
 were included in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 New
Zealand
Check wording
Zealand's
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 was
one-four
Replace the word
one-fourth
 of it.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, universities, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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