IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

.Volunteer work organised by middle schools brings more benefits than problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 is now
in
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 trend in many schools,
they
Correct word choice
where they
show examples
designated
Verb problem
have designated
show examples
 volunteer
work
Use synonyms
compulsory
Change preposition
as compulsory
show examples
 for students. It helps in bringing confidence and discipline in young generation. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion that the youngsters' unpaid
work
Use synonyms
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 significant benefits in society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many educational institutes encourage youngsters to
work
Use synonyms
 as
volunteer
Fix the agreement mistake
volunteers
show examples
 in different sectors, to enhance their capabilities in handling difficult tasks.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in museums and in different events like festivals. Organising volunteer
work
Use synonyms
 in middle schools helps in developing important life skills. When kids take part in cleaning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parks, managing libraries or assessing community events, they learn
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
work
Use synonyms
 and
disipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
Linking Words
 a young age, they learn to manage their time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 problems independently.
For instance
Linking Words
 , it promotes
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of empathy and responsibility
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they learn to help others without any benefit
is
Correct pronoun usage
, which is
show examples
also
Linking Words
 crucial. It creates a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 middle school students.
However
Linking Words
, some
individuls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 may think about academic pressure. If not
managing
Wrong verb form
managed
show examples
 well, it could
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to stress and frustration. Schools should provide some relaxation towards studies so kids can do multiple tasks at once ,and can manage their studies
as well as
Linking Words
volunteering
Correct determiner usage
their volunteering
show examples
 activities.
For example
Linking Words
,
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 should provide
timetable
Correct article usage
a timetable
show examples
 to the students, through which they
handle
Verb problem
can handle
show examples
 their time effectively.
This
Linking Words
 can help teenagers to get benefits without feeling
overwhelming
Replace the word
overwhelmed
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that there are significant benefits to encourage pupils to
work
Use synonyms
unpaid
Change preposition
on unpaid
show examples
 assignments
along with
Linking Words
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 progression in academic activities, and it is possible with
efficient
Correct article usage
an efficient
show examples
 timetable.

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task response
Make your main answer very clear at the start and keep the same idea all through the essay.
task response
Explain your ideas more deeply. Some points are good, but they need more detail about why and how they help students.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct. Try to give one full example instead of many short ones.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your ideas connect in a smooth way.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion: you agree with the idea.
task response
You include both benefits and a possible problem, so your essay feels balanced.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like to begin with, moreover, however, and in conclusion.
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