IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 0.5

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better wasy to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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My my opinion both you can make it but the
gift
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 time show the people
care
Use synonyms
 but in my opinion I think the another things better like you love them and you
care
Use synonyms
 about them the
gift
Use synonyms
 the people tho gets the
gift
Use synonyms
 they love it but the
care
Use synonyms
 and love more valuable the
care
Use synonyms
 not in the
gift
Use synonyms
 in the
care
Use synonyms

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task response
Write a clear first sentence to answer the task. Say that you will talk about both sides and your view.
coherence and cohesion
Talk about both views in separate parts. Now, your ideas are mixed and hard to follow.
task response
Add one or two simple examples. This will make your ideas stronger and more clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use full stops to make short sentences. This will help the reader follow your meaning.
coherence and cohesion
At the end, write a short clear conclusion. Repeat your main view in easy words.
task response
You gave your opinion clearly: care and love are more important than gifts.
task response
Your main idea stays on the topic of gifts and care.
coherence and cohesion
You used simple linking words like but and and to join ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • show care
  • give gifts
  • special day
  • small present
  • happy memory
  • feel valued
  • family ties
  • social custom
  • important event
  • time and effort
  • real care
  • spend time
  • hard time
  • deeper way
  • house work
  • daily support
  • feel pressure
  • spend money
  • less sincere
  • kind behavior
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